Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.
He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The external light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.
Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies. You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if you did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived could tear apart. Only faith, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.
No Santa Claus?Thank God he lives and lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay 10 times 10,000 years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!!!

This is the reply to a letter sent to the new york sun newspaper written by 8 year old virginia o hanlon
Her letter found its way into the hands of a veteran editor, Francis P. Church. Son of a Baptist minister, Church had covered the Civil War for The New York Times and had worked on the The New York Sun for 20 years, more recently as an anonymous editorial writer. Church, a sardonic man, had for his personal motto, "Endeavour to clear your mind of cant." When controversial subjects had to be tackled on the editorial page, especially those dealing with theology, the assignments were usually given to Church.




Surely this type of blind child like faith seen so often during Christmas must be possible? I just wish I could find it . . . .

side note . . . my blog is still set on NF time . . .

So I havnt exactly updated this in forever . . .

So I'm home now its pretty cool . . . really weird though I don't know how to explain it its just weird like I changed but nothing else did and because none o it changed I feel like maybe I havnt changed, Maybe this makes no sense?

I'm really excited for Christmas just because Its Christmas I'm also pretty excited for new years (i think?)

Went to Calgary with my mom Thursday I had to get my oncology blood work done it was pretty sweet I got a happy feet band aid . . . And then we went shopping, This resulted in a very unhappy foot. I need to figure out how to make it heal.

Friday morning I had a chat with Dawn it was cool it was my last chance to see her before they all leave for the Mexico missions trip. Then I slept again, Then I babysat then I hung out with kay which was fabulous.

I'm supposed to hang out with Kay again today (Saturday) I'm also supposed to meet up with Bailey cuz I accidentally stood her up today (Friday)

So this was pretty much a retarded update . . . I'm not quite as sick now (YAY) Also did anyone watch the OC yesterday ???? SHOCKER!!!!

I would be at camp right now if I had chosen to volunteer again for Christmas camp, it feels odd being at home. I feel very much like somethings missing I also feel like I'm slacking off and I know Im missing a fabulous time le sigh I guess though I should be home seeing as I leave again a week after new years.

On that last note it is very odd (and yes Michelle you will enjoy hearing this) I actually feel slightly homesick in a way. It just seems that there was a lot less drama in NF or something like that.

It also seems that you can not just up and leave a problem and expect it to disappear while your gone. Things just don't work like that . . . This worries me though because I know that any issues I left in NF will most certainly be waiting for me when I get back, This occurred to me last night.

The words pine lake camp returning staff application ahvebeen floating around in my head alot as of late . . .

STOLEN!!!

Stole this from BuBbLeS it looked fun . . .

So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool...

Opening Credits:
Landslide~Dixie Chicks

Waking Up:
Strawbery Gashes~Jack Off Jill


First Day At School:
8 Days Of Christmas~Destinys Child

Falling In Love:
Sunsets And Car Crashes~The Spill Canvas

Fight Song:
Break Me Shake Me~Savage Garden

Breaking Up:
Wonderwall~Oasis

Prom:
Hey You~Pink Floyd

Life:
Forever Young~The Youth Group

Mental Breakdown:
Sour Girl~Stone Temple Pilots

Driving:
Glycerine~Bush

Flashback:
Skater Boy~Avril Lavigne

Getting back together:
California~Phantom Planet

Wedding:
Baby Hold On~Dixie Chicks

Birth of Child:
Beautiful~James Blunt

Final Battle:
The Scientist~Coldplay

Death Scene:
All My Friends~Counting Crows

Funeral Song:
The Spill Canvas~Bracelets

End Credits:
Tears In Heaven~Eric Clapton


Overall pretty impressive I think . . . Except the christmas song that makes me wonder.

Hello from St.Johns international airport!!! T-59 minutes until my flight home !!!!!!!!!!!! You got it prarrie girl is headed home for the hollydays!

Sorry for not exactly updating in the last well week ? or 2 ? Ive really just had nothing to say and truthfully I still dont only that my laptop screen is really suer dsgustingly dirty as is my entire laptop Id really like to figure out how to clean it up while Im at home, Anyone who knows anything about laptop care please leave a comment!

Im feeling slightly better this is good.

I cant just have a cold . . . or the flu oh no. I have to have a flu like virus that is attacking the organ of central balance near my ear . . . viral something or another.

I also have 2 exams left and yah the doctor said I can get them difered . . . but who wants to study over christmas ?

Home in less then a week!!!!! I really can not wait, I'm sort of relying on this to remind me of why I'm here and what I'm doing I guess I just need to remember where I came from and who I am. Man that sounds so corny.

Chem was yesterday English was today chem was miserable, I knew that there was no way I could do good enough to pass, I don't even need the course I was just there because I changed my program after the deadline for dropping courses without academic prejuidice. SO I take the final BOMB it and later I'm talking to my lab TA who tells me that the prof could have written me out of the course because of my program change. Want to know what angered me the most was the prof knew! Cant wait for next term when I'm taking courses that I like.

2 more left bio Thursday and psych on Friday (7-9.30pm) then I fly out at 7.15 Saturday morning (less then 24 hours after my exam) Then home till the 7th when I fly back to NF my plane gets in around 12.30 Am he 8th and then classes start for me at 10 am (once again less then 24 hours) hahahahaha I loves my life.

This was kind of a pointless blog update.

Today I signed away 2 years of my life . . . well at least 2 years of my cell phone life, Thats right folks Im now on a contract. See it all started with the idea that I need to get off of pay and talk because its sucking away all my valuable money and I have crappy rates and it just sucks. And I also needed stuff to use to build up my credit rating so obvious solution? Switch to a plan so thats what I did . . . And it was cheaper to just go on a contract with it and get the free phone thrown in who knows maybe this one will work.

Now that the boring stuff is out of the way. Tonight is the SASF Christmas dinner I like food . . . so I'm fairly excited AND its semi formal and I like dressing up, Win Win. I wish it were semi formal enough though that I could wear my dress from Christmas party though.

I think that I should type something meaningful but nothing is coming to mind . . . maybe later?

www.lost.eu/928f

this seems kinna interesting

Thought Id toss in an update before bio . . .

Christmas party was AMAZING and I had sooo much fun with laura getting ready and with kaitlynn and just fun in general.

I am also the proud owner of lots of birthday cards and those make me :) (my birthday was Sunday for those of you who didnt know)

Im sitting here listening to bethany joy lenz and Im oddly content but not because I feel cramped like I want to go outside and just run and run and run until my lungs burn I did that at 1 am and it was GREAT. Maybe Im abnormal or maybe Im just frusterated either way it seems being alone at 1 30 AM in the cold is oddly attractive.


we'll do it all everything
on our own
we dont need anything
or anyone

Well its that time again! The malls are turning into fantasy lands kettles are out and lights are going up its christmas time again! This can only mean one thing in the world for moi . . . christmas cheer ? kind of . . .lots of yummmy food ? not yet . . . Well what is it ? Lots of stuff to buy and not enough money. Oh the life of a university student!

In other news 2 and a half days until Sunday when I will join the realm of adults in Newfoundland . . . So I can change over my phone billing plan :O and open a new bank account! How irritating is it that? Very, Oh man how I miss the land of mountains prarries and low majority ages.

Me and Laura spent 4 and a ahlf hours at the hospital yesterday I had to get some follow up Xrays done on my foot and Laura had to get her death cold checked out , She came away with an inhaler I came away witht he quote of "Well I dont see anything . . . But since it was undisplaced we wouldnt see anything anywy your going to have to wait until someone else looks at it" SO really they said nothing, Just like last time.

Were going to the square tonight to pick up more chirstmas lights for our room plus an extension cord and possibly a USB printer cord all of which Im excited for. Im also hoping to be done my christmas shopping by this weekend :) Only 3 more left!!!

I should go eat or shower or do something productive before my chem lab of death . . . Yes I am going to go do that, Well I will as soon as Devin comes back with my cell phone.


heavens not a place that you go when you die
its that moment in life when you actually feel alive
so live for the moment and take this advice
live by every word loves complety real
so forget anything that you have heard
and live for the moment now

1AM~
C~"Laura are you tired?"
L~"No not really but I can turn out the light if you are"
C~"Nope not at all . . . Wanna go for a walk?"
L~"Sure sounds good"

So we walked around campus and were stalked by a MUNpo (Campus enforcment) Car . . . It was delightfull. Then we came back here and watched you drive me crazy with Melissa Joan Hart and laughed at the slutty red crop/halter/swimsuit top which was really just a sports bra.

twas grreat

I have straight hair today! And I did it all by myself (I have never straightened my hair before)

Nap time Ill post some lyrics later

So I totally lied and did not go and get the xrays done . . . I just hate the idea of me going in them saying its fine and treating me like an idiot. And Im still irritated from the last time I went to get xrays. Today was great Me and Laura slept the afternoon away and then figured some stuff out like how to fit the milk in the fridge . . . Take the shelf out.

21 hour quiet hours start Sunday which only serves to scare me because of how close exams are, Wow I cant believe how fast this semester has gone by.

Tonight I straightened my hair . . . this makes me smile

So tonight and today pretty much rocked some stuff has happened that I think will make the rest of the semester and possibly the rest of the year alot better. Yay for answered prayers :) Also I am really excited for my birthday and I think that between that and christmas party the weekend will be just amazing. I can hope right ?

My foot is hurting ALOT tonight its also really swollen, It had been hurting all night so I put the supoort thing on it (kind of like a tensor bandage but just a thick tube and not a wrap) Well after I took the thing off it had swollen within minutes . . . This worries me so Im going to go in tommorow and get it re x-rayed. Ive been needing to do this I just figure I should stop procrastinating. Im also not going to be a wimp this time Im going to ask to talk to a doctor instead of lettign the Xray tech just tell me its fine.

Not much else to talk about for now so Ill post tommorow . . . Im still waiting on the last couple songs ;)

Soooo Im sitting here at my desk minding my own buisness when all of the sudden Wham Bam Alacazam I hear a thump and something comes flying and hits my head. Turns out my grad group pic fell off of its shelf and took a teddy bear shaped bar of soap with it. This is just peachy it seems furniture and stuff wants me dead.

I made a todo list of things I need to get done this week, It now hangs above my desk . . . I kind of want to get at least 2 things crossed off today and more tommorow the last chunk is things I need to get for christmas party (shoes) So I think Ill do that Friday.


Fil thinks Im lonely . . . .Therefore this is dedicated to her.


Maybe Im a girl
Maybe Im a lonely girl
Thats in the middle of something
That she dosnt really understand . . .

Anonymous~22
Fil~6

(I think the problem is that Fil just dosnt read my blog enough . . .)

Rawr that is all for now

But you can't say what you want or
Take what you want or
Choose the moods that you fake when you want
You said your life oculdnt get much better
Then where its at
And arnt you glad ?

(HINT!!!!!!!Think one tree hill)


So I was looking for about 15 minutes to find the right lyrics for this one and this won out I guess its just really working for what Im feeling right now because you know what? Im really happy right now (yah shocking right?)

Theres things about this place that I wouldnt change for the world and people that Im going to miss terribly even when Im just home for Christmas. Im not saying everythings perfect Im just saying that maybe like bailey says in the sisterhood of the travelling pants

"Being happy isnt having everything in your life being perfect maybe its about stringing together all the little things like wearing these pants or gettign to a new level of dragon slayer making those count for more then the bad stuff maybe we just get through it and thats all we can ask for"


Hahahahahahahaha now I feel like a loser but then again "maybe theres a little bit of loser in all of us!!"

Don't worry you will find the answer if you let it go
Give yourself some time to falter
But don't forgo know that you're loved no matter what
And everything will come around in time
I own my insecurities I try to own my destiny
That I can make or break it if I choose

Extra special triple points to whoeevr gets this one :P Im feeling generous . . .

Yah Yah sure do a case study on me just make sure I get to see it at some point Im pretty interested in what others think of me.

I registered for my winter courses today and am sooo psyched!!! I have all the courses I want/need in the time slots I wanted and with the profs I wanted can you say whootawhoota ? Cuz I sure can. Ive also realized that without bio and chem my time table looks empty . . . Possibly because on top of 3 hours of classes each week per course they also each had a 3 hour lab and chem had a 1 hour tutorial . . . Ughhhh cant wait for next semester when I will join the realm of the arts students.

I looked at the website today for the school of social work good news and bad news but more good then bad the bad was that each year they get approximatly 120 applicants of which 45 are accepted, Good news ? They look at stuff like volunteer work and job experiance other good news ? I could do my work term/internship or possibly even study for a semester at MUNs international campus in Harlow England, However seeing as I cant even apply to the school until next March and enter it until fall of my third year I really dont think I need to worry about any of this right now.

Im very excited for my birthday which is in 8 days (its next Sunday for those of you who like me are bad at math) And its spectacular because the house Christmas party is Saturday so Im sure itll be a fun weekend. Michelle gets brownie points also for the spectacular present whcih I know what it is but have not opened, She also gets points for the wrapping.

It seems I have one more english paper to complete then I expected . . . Meh english is fun!

I think Im playing soccer tommorow it will be interesting but probally not as interesting as the mens A game . . .

I really enjoy getting to know people in the house who I dont normally talk to (does this make sense?)

Im starting to seriously look at what I want to do for the summer . . .

Nav~Im sorry for accidentally deleting your comment, My internet cut out right when I went to publish it and everythign went haywire.


SASF is doing some downtown ministries stuff and Im very excited to get involved with that. Im also really excited that today was my last midterm and just overall a good day other then being slightly sick which I can deal with.


Im eating crackers it rocks . . .

My choice is what i choose to do
And if i'm causing no harm
It shouldn't bother you
Your choice is who you choose to be
And if your causin' no harm
Then you're alright with me

(lets ignore the subject matter of the song shall we darlings)

I hate tough decisions I really just dislike them. I sometimes have to much trouble managing out the pros and cons in my head and other times I just hate to admit that the decision should even be made. (does this make any sense?)

My foot is really hurting alot lately and that worries me, it seems to just be really stiff and painfull and overall not nice.

Nic leaves on wednesday :O

"Can you please just sit down your making me nervous"
"Yah ok and the fact that Im shaking dosnt make you nervous"
"Well no you cant control that you can control the constant walking around"

I feel really full right now just full of stuff. Like I just want to go for a run or something and just run until I cant run any further. And empty myself of all the bad stuff and make room for some good stuff.

Unfortunatly its 10 o clock and going for a late night run just dosnt seem that appealing, Im just not that comfortable with this city yet. Call me paranoid if you so please.

Darn field house for closing early. Meh theres always tommorow.

Im goign to go read or watch one tree hill.

No time permits to open up
When you've been hiding thoughts so strong
She's been holding out for an angel to come along
No reply from the sky
But she just keeps looking up
She just keeps looking up now


Im not in a state to update Im sorry
Im sorry for everything
So sorry

You know she wishes it was different
And she prays to god most every night
And though shes quite sure he dosnt listen
Theres a tiny hope theres a tiny hope in her he might
She says i pray but oh my prayers they fall on deaf ears
Am I suposed to take it on myself to get out of this place


And she feels like kicking out all the windows
And setting fire to this life
She would change everything about her
Using colors bold and bright




And yet another sleepness night

I'm looking at you through the glass...
Don't know how much time has passed
Oh god it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever
Feels like home sitting all alone inside your head


How do you feel? That is the question
But I forget.. you don't expect an easy answer
When something like a soul becomes
Initialized and folded up like paper dolls and little notes
You cant expect a bit of hope
And while your outside looking in
Describing what you see
Remember what your staring at is me


Cause I'm looking at you through the glass...
Don't know how much time has passed
All I know is that it feels like forever
When no one ever tells you that forever
Feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head


How much is real? So much to question
An epidemic of the mannequins
Contaminating everything
When thought came from the heart
It never did right from the start
Just listen to the noises(No more sad voices)
Before you tell yourself
Its just a different scene
Remember its just different from what you've seen


I'm looking at you through the glass...
Don't know how much time has passed
And all I know is that it feels like forever
When no one ever tells you that forever
Feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head


And it's the stars
The stars
That shine for you
And it's the stars
The stars
That lie to you.. yeah


I'm looking at you through the glass...
Don't know how much time has passed
Oh god it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever
Feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head


Cause I'm looking at you through the glass...
Don't know how much time has passed
All I know is that it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever
feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head


And it's the stars
The stars
That shine for you.. yeah
And it's the stars
The stars that lie to you.. yeah
And it's the stars
The stars
That shine for you.. yeah
And it's the stars
The stars
That lie to you.. yeah
Oh when the stars
Oh when the stars
They lie

Stone Sour~through glass

Im alowly adjusting to my hair and am starting to like it right now its curly and Im holding out alot of hope that it will stay that way. The academic dons throughout paton college organised a apton college spelling bee and I volunteered to be one of the two reps from rothermere . . . thats tonight I dont spell this should be hilarious!

Im really excited for my courses next semester Sociology, Psychology, Geogpraphy, English and Womens studies. It should be good.

I should go put on my shoes.

Oh anonymous poster who are you ? And do you google the lyrics ? Because googling is considered cheating.


I created my dream schedule for next term it is lovely nd if I dont get into any of the classes I will cry. Im quite intrigued by the fact that I seem to have aqquired friends and on top of that friends who are not from rez am I possibly worth talking to?

Tess called me tonight and it made my life.

Today I got my haircut it is short and thinned out ALOT I feel bald but for anyone who knows me and how thick my hair is it being thinned out is nothing. Everyone else seems to really like it but Im a little unsure maybe I just need to adjust to the 10 pounds removed from my head.

After I got my hair cut I had to get groceries and such and then rush back to campus and grab dinner from dining hall between 6.30 and 7 when my lab started so I rushed into dining hall all stressy and found it decorated for chirstmas and the salvation army band was playing christmas music it pretty much made me giddy. I really love christmas more so now then ever its just so familiar.

How do you feel ? That is the question
But I forget you dont expect an easy answer
When something like a soul becomes initialized
And folded up like paper dolls and little notes . . .



And its the stars that lie to you . . .

PS when this song gets guessed remind me to post the full lyrics its just that amazing

So Im getting my hair cut this afternoon . . . Its been looking kinna dead lately and I got money as a birthday present so Im using some on my hair and grocerys and the rest will be for school stuff (readd pencils pens paper books etc)

Im very happy and excited about the switch to social work I get the career I want with ZERO math or science courses however it means that bio and chem were electives which make me feel kind of liek an idiot. Cest La Vie.

I dont care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul

That would make me very happy however I might care if it hurt because well I dont do pain well, Unless as we have learned its a broken foot in which case I seem to be pretty darn good at just ignoring it until I can no longer walk without crying. Oh me.

I have a bio lab tonight and Im not happy about that especially now that I dont actually need bio or chem.

I should go do something productive like my pre lab.

Anyone wanna pray that my hair turns out ok ?

I really wish I knew who my anonymous poster is . . . it would be really cool especially they got the song right that I doubted anyone would know (sorry Nav) I hope this anonymous person realizes that if you click on other instead of anonymous you can put in a name.

It would be nice to know what I want to do with my life however the options are narrowed to Psychology,Education with English as my teachable and Social Work. Is it silly that all my prospects are the same area ? This is silly I know what I want to do I just dont know what degree to get and I dont want to switch over from psych until Im completly sure.

I love tuesdays they make me smile I think Im gonna get dressed go eat lunch and then head down to academic advising thsi will be the third time Ive been there however the second time was for a registration book so it doesnt count.

It snowed for the first time last night :) or :( however this means snowman building soon with Julie hmm I have not built a snowman in ever.

I dont wanna spend my life jaded
Waitin' to wake up one day and find
That I let all these years go by wasted
I dont wanna keep on wishin' missin'
The still of the morning the color of the night
I aint spending no more time wasted

Have alot of extra time before bio and dont feel liek cleaning so I thought Id write in here. The weekend was ok it was incredibly uneventfull and mostly boring. Saturday I just took care of some stuff here on campus (picking up the books I left over at Bowater and went to the library to work on Othello then I came back her and worked on othello some more and just slacked off that night. Sunday was softball so I was up at like 7.20 for that and it was disgusting but it was alot of fun once we all got to the field. I was alternate so I just got to sit there eat chips read my book and cheer it was a very good position lol. We had soem adventures though trying to find the ultramart and discovering chirs's "slutty eyeball" Oh My.

I dont know really what else to write about. I recieved a lovely letter from Lilo today and it made my day! I do love mail and I do love lilo so it worked out great!! And to Lilo because I know you read this *yours is in the mail today!*

Im gonna read for a bit because reading makes me smile!


But not before the return of everyones favourite game!!!!! guess that song . . .

If you could be anyone in this whole world who would you be?
would you be elvis shaking up memphis making all the young girls scream
would you make a speech that would change the world like martin luther king
would you go down in history like abe lincoln cuz you set a country free
if you could be anyone in this whole world
tell me who would you be ?

So Friday night SASF,Chi Alpha and MUNcf the 3 christian groups on campus had a joint service with a band for worship and 2 people doing testiomies and if course a speaker. Well all goes well through the band and the testmonies then like 10 minutes into the speaker I look at jillian and am like "Psst I NEED to get back I have 3 days to read Othello but I dunno how to leave without being impolite" And she tells me to just shuffle out the back door so Im like ok. Well about 5 minutes before I had to leave another girl left and of course the speaker notices asks if he offended her and then made a joke about her needing to study and how she will be his doctor in 10 years, SO at this point Im crying on the inside because I need to leave but I dont want to hurt this poor guys feelings and I dont want the whole room to be looking at me. Well I swallow my pride get up and go to leave of course the speaker notices looks at me makes a joke about driving us away and then a joke about me being his nurse in 10 years. Embarassing enough ? Yes, Is it over . . . of course not. So I make it to the back of the room and go to push open the door and at this point people are still paying attention to me, Problem ? Door dosnt open thoughts race through my head "You are an idiot" Well I try the door again . . . no luck. Bravely walk to other end of room push open door door opens FREEDOM close door let out massive sigh of relief and laugh at myself for a few minutes. Come into cell phone reception call Lilo get laughed at by Lilo . . . OH MY

It doesn't hurt me.
Do you want to feel how it feels?
Do you want to know that it doesn't hurt me?
Do you want to hear about the deal that I'm making?


I feel like Im very much a let down to myself . . . I have these great moments of realization and get things good and on trach but then its not long before something happens to turn those realizations into something of the past.

Destinys child is playing from one end of the hall nelly furtado from the other and placeb is playing in my brain . . . . this needs to be rectified.

Maybe i'm thinking
Myself in a hole
Wondering who i am
When i ought to know
Straighten up now
Time to go
Fool somebody else
Fool somebody else


Sorry no hero points for this one it would just not be fair . . .

Today for my chem lab I had my hair in a bun and my glasses on and my lab coat and goggles I felt very smart it was fun.

I dont really know what else to write about . . . Does anyone want to read othello for me ? And summarise it for me perfectly by Monday ? No takers . . . Ok never mind Ill do it myself.

The oc premiere is tonight can you say whootawhoota ?

I took a lovely nap today and it was amazing however Im sure I wont be able to sleep until 5 am . . . I can deal with that. Today I finished my english essay and the charity comitee PR pack for our major event I also found out that I dont have a chem test till the 15th YES (God Is Good)

Today Marlene invited the first years from out of town/province to her house for dinner and it was amazing sure sometimes dining hall is fun but nothing compares with conversation at a round table with less then 10 people in a real dining room. desert was this amazing blueberry cheesckake pie crumble thing and it made me very happy. I also talked to her about perhaps helping out with a bible study which I liked the sound of.

Aqua fit tonight was fun its nice to be able to work out and not have my foot getting mad at me . . . Well not much.

I think I have a hard time trusting people and giving them the benefit of the doubt this is a sucky trait to have because more often then not I get hurt because of it. I know Im uber sensitive and take things way to personally its something I wish I could change.

It is officially November that means 26 days till Im 19 and 25 days until our charity event and I think 46 until I go home for Christmas.

This is random I can deal with that.

And to quote Benjo "and now for something completly different" . . .

I keep playing your part
But it's not my scene
Want this plot to twist
I've had enough mystery
Keep building it up
Then shooting me down
But I'm already down

In a brutal effort to get comments Im copying Nav . . . Whoever names the song gets hero points! Comeon guys this is eeezypeezy and who doesnt love hero points ?

I sometimes wish I had a place here not just a social place but a physical place. Somewhere to go in the times like now where Im scared confused sad angry hurt stressed etc somewhere where I could just sit and be on my own and really on my own not just on my own in a house full of people. Sometimes I just wish I could have that . . .

Tommorow is going to be a good day Im not sure that it will be but I really want to believe that, I wish I could hate it here Tanya is leaving at the end of this semester and that saddens me alot. I wish I could hate it here enough to just leave . . . But I know Id feel like I was missing something.

I know you didnt bring me out here to drown
So why am I 10 feet under and upside down ?
Barely surviving has become my purpose
Because Im so used to living under the surface
If I could just see you everything would be alright
If I could see you this darkness would turn to light
Lifehouse~Storm

This song was playing while I was typing and I had to put in those lyrics they are just so true right now . . .
I wish I more less melancholy sometimes Im actually happy . . . Maybe Ill make a note to write in here during those times.

Costume dillema solved . . . I will be going as daisy duke for both I will just be toning it down a touch for SASF sweet ? very much so.

My hair is disagreing with me right now it wants to fall flat and I want some waviness.

There are 2 parties at the same time this is interesting.

Last night I had 2 hours of sleep or less . . . Actually in the past 20 hours Ive had just under 2 hours . . . in the past 36 hours Ive had 4 hours. Im starting to worry myself. I Heart my mommy
the end

Current Time~6 40
Time my alarm is going to go off~8 00

Help me Jesus

Halloween is much more ocmplicated then I ever thought could be possible, You see I have 2 halloween partys on Saturday one with SASF and the other here at the house which would be fine easy enough to just jump from one to the other right ? Wrong you see for the SASF party I need an SASF appropriate costume and for the house party I need a rez appropriate costume and the change will have to be quick . . . The decision ?

Rez is Daisy Duke no doubt easy enough short jean shorts and a tightish top hair down minimal make up and boots oh and kippy belt 5 minutes to toss together . . .

SASF`. . . This is the toughy there is a contest . . . I was thinking something quick and easy like myself or a camp counsellor lol shirts sneakers and a whistle but I want to win so I might go 80's . . . My work out capris a mini skirt over them and a baggy teeshirt witht he colar cut out and a tank top underneath with 80s make up and hair relativly easy and the hair works for both however Id have to wash off and redo my make up for daisy *Sigh* I have no idea . . .

Im very sad about the lack of commets on my blog . . . I ask again if you read leave a comment once in a while so I see a use to actually keep posting.

I found out this week that I won another scholarship for 1000 dollars this makes me smile because Im pretty ok now fo rmy first yrs tuition. It makes next year alot easier and seeing as housing is INSANE even in rez it just makes things simpler. I also have an interview at coles books tommorow I reall yneed a job so that it self is a blessing (Prayers please)

I should get some sleep Im gonna drag my pretty lil bum out of bed tommorow for a yoga class at 7.30 AM . . . go me

"Our goal on campus is to provide a customer-driven approach with a harmonious balance in the equality of service and innovative food solutions that inspires and delights students, staff, faculty and guests at Memorial University."
Food services

Tell me how my dinner is suposed to inspire me ?

Step one, you say we need to talk.
He walks, you say sit down it's just a talk.
He smiles politely back at you,
You stare politely right on through.
Some sort of window to your right.
As he goes left and you stay right.
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came.
How to save a life~~The Fray

Wow

humming
all the way to Reno
you’ve dusted the non believers
and challenged the laws of chance
now, sweet
you were so sugar sweet
you may as well have had “kick me”
fastened on your sleeve

All the way to reno~REM


I feel as if I should have something really deep to say . . . ButI dont. I never really do except in bio class when I asked how the poly U experiments could exist without a start codon my prof said she didnt know and asked a microbiologist a few days later she explained it. . . I never really understood the profs answer I think I was kinna zoned out. I seem to be that alot lately.

Does someone want to give me a fully functional brain? Mine seems to just be overloaded with random though processes and very litlle ability to actually absorb information.

Maybe Im a little more eccentric then I thought . . . I dont know that I want to be eccentric I should change that about myself. Then again its possibly just a delayed reaction side effect of living with Fil all summer. Look what you have done to me.

Im actually listening to hellogoodbye mostly cuz I heard a song on the OC and now Im pretty much hooked I wish I had downloaded shimy hsimmy quarter turn last year then I would have introduced myself to this ear magic much sooner.

Is it normal to always have tears right behind your eyelids? this is actually starting to give me a headache.

I love that my blog has become home to the fil nav fight club its charming.

God is good and even when you dont think hes there he totally is and he totally has your back.

Ive been trying for days to DL the OC season finale so I can finally see it for myself but with no sucess.

Im going to MUNchouse tonigh to get 4 mozza stix . . . no more dining hall ripping me off because Im to silly to use all my meals.

Brewster is my fave I was so upset last night and then he took me to subway and made me smile which he does alot and then we came home we stopped at burtons pond and looked at the ducks because they were asleep and I had never seen sleeping ducks before . . . it was great.
C~Do you wanna go back ?
B~Its up to you its kinna cold
C~Mmmk lets go
B~Its up to you if you want Ill stay out here all night and look at ducks with you
This was at 3 30 AM.


I wish I could be consistantly happy . . .

Today in field house I saw a boy wearing a black shirt . . . A black shirt with a cool logo on the back . . . A freak lunchbox logo !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was the same shirt as Nav and Fils except in black and of course this made me smile.

I qute enjoyed todays chem lab even though it was titrations is was suprisingly logical which made me happy however it took for ever because I kept dropping zeros in my calculations BOO URNS.

I do not know what Im doing tonight movie with julie or bens ?
MUNchouse is open tonight mmmmm field trip

Well it seems there might be some things I would miss if i were to no longer be a science geek such as my bip lab even though it goes from 7-10 onWedensday I want to try and explain it.

My lab group is a great mix with 3 girls and 3 boys all of whom are not interested inbio and would rather not be in the lab because of this we dont talk about the lab that much and divvy up all the work so we can get out faster. There are always some interesting things that come up like during our bacteria lab we decided we wanted to order pizza so on our last lab our bench is ordering pizza . . . it shall be grand however today saw some more interetsing quotes such as . . .

"Dont flash your DNA at me you sadistic creep"

"Im like a pyromaniac with sharp objects whats that called ?"

"She got so excited if you had been a guy she wouldv ripped your pants off!!!"

"Can you move the thingger so I can see the other thingger?"

"I think he just atomized the algae"

Oh boy . . .

Math is dropped and even though I feel as if my self esteem is lsightly lowered by having had to drop a ocurse my first semester in university the rest of me says that this was most definatly for the best. The bad news ? I now need to rethink my degree choice because I cant do a Ba Sci without calc, Meh I never liked sciences any way.

Ive recently realized that people irritate me . . . most people make me want to become a hermit because I just cant stand them, And when working on important stuf I much perfer to do it alone Id rather be held accountable for what I do and my mistakes and succeses as opposed to other people. Id rather work with people in a team setting where we all have diffrent tasks I guess why camp was so appealing well I had people who were doing the same thing so I had support we all had our own "tasks".

Im not anti pople Im actually a people person when I do love people I love them very much they just need to be the right people.

Im very much missing camp right now I dont quite know why but I am. I wanna lay on the hill (head lower then body for a better angle) And watch the moon over the lake . . . That right now would be fantabulous. I am also having this strange nagging inside me to go on a swing set I want to find one so that I can do that (geeez what kind of university doesnt have a swing set ???)

I also want cheescake . . . real cheescake. I could list off the foods I am craving but that would take to long.

Im kinna irritated that its 2 am and once again I cant sleep, This sucks mostly because Im so bored!!!!!

Snippets of a convo between me and my academic advisor

C~I want. . . Need to drop math, Can I do that ?
MM~Do you need it for your degree ?
C~As far as I know . . . no but I wanted to make sure
MM~Well I really dont know what to tell you then

Im gonna stare at my celing . . . I think pretty soon Im gonna get glow in the dark stars to put over my bed that would make me happy.

Ever since our room flooded there has been this WEIRD smell Weve cleaned and mopped but the smell remains.

This ones for you

Sooooooooooooo . . .

I dont pretend that everythings perfect and in fact lately things have been far from it but something interesting happened tonight (remember its allready 6.45 here and not 3.15)

I was walking back from the science building and happy because I had just talked to my academic advisor and I am dropping math (yay no more calc yay for "artsy math") While I was walking back to rez there was this AMAZING pink sunset and it seemed to just light up EVERYTHING. And for about 20 seconds I just realized that everything will be allright . . .

Of course that will change and I wont always think that, But Ill take what I can get.

Dining hall sucked especially bad tonight BOO URNS on Oktoberfest theme night.

Time for psych

This is dedicated to Fil.


Last night a pipe on our floor busrt coincidentally the pipe was between mine and beckys and mike and devins room . . . meaning our room was floating. I thought I left flooding when I came here.

This morning I woke up at 9.23 (I had class at 10 and planned on just getting ready quick) however for some reason 23 struck me as 53 and i ran around liek an idiot until I finally looked at a clock and realized my error . . . Im kinna interesting like that.

Im listening to better together by jack johnson. Well actually it just switched over to banana pancakes, And now of course I want banana panccakes.

My foot is still sore and swollen however it just started on Friday Brad thinks I should see a doctor any other oppinions ?

I should go to class now boo urns on chem.

being not sick would be nice
so would having some clue of what I want to dow ith the rest of my life . . .

It seems that a Ba Sci Is just not for me psych is for me sciences are kind of for me . . . pre calc is not for me and calc next semester will not be for me so Im looking at changing my plan ? Psych minor english minor and then education . . . Because I love my english class and then I cna use english as my teachable subject and take psych still and then because Ill have by B ed I can still work with kids . . . However it kinna means that this semester will have included alot of stress fo rnothing, But Im dropping math and that is good! Originally I felt like I was giving up but then I realized that its not for me and Im not paying loads of money to take a course that Im going to fail.

I agree with what nav wrote in her blog I aswell have always looked up to people in university and now that Im here it seems very surreal . . . Ive also always admired my camp counselors and saw them as these amazing grown up people and after doing that all summer I also feel very grown up in someways but in other ways I just feel like Im faking it.

Rez is ok it has its ups and downs however its better now because Im starting to find a niche even after the very unsavoury events over thanksgiving (which shall not be mentioned in here) The week has gone relativly well. Friday me and Julie went shopping with the purpose of getting halloween stuff and me dropping off resumes I dropped off resumes . . . I almost didnt geta winter coat but then I saw one I loved in winners for 70$ comapred to 160$ which it was in sears so I bought it . . . This is an idea of the conversation that transpired

J~Ohhhhh look !!! its pretty and purple and its columbia !!!! for only 70$ YOU NEED TO GET IT
C~Yah its ok . . .
J~Its perfect!!
C~Umm its not pink
J~You have enough pink you need to start experimenting with other colors
C~But I wanted a pink winter coat !
J~The purple will look good with your dark hair
C~Pink
J~Your getting it


Ummmmm my name wasnt flamingo for nothing !!!!!!!!! However I did end up getting the coat and its ok its actually great its just not pink however I still love it.

We also bought books which was good because I got to use my irewards card and she bought some headbands at claires where we realized that I am not a headband type but I bought some 5$ sale stuff at garage which was good I like sales . . . Then we went to the food court and ate whichw as good and picked up seans dinner (hise and paucy smackers anyone ???) Of course when we got back to campus the first thing Sean asked was "So did you get halloween stuff?" Of course not!

That story had very little purpose but I thought it was funny.

Im gonna end this now

How can I love it here so much ? I owuldnt trade it for the world . . .

Even though I want to cry.

PS Coming home for Xmas!!!!!!!!!!!

Here's the day you hoped would never come
Don’t feed me violence, just run with me
Through rows of speeding cars
The paper cuts, the cheating lovers
The coffee’s never strong enough
I know you think it’s more than just bad luck

There, there, baby
It’s just text book stuff
It’s in the ABC of growing up
Now, now, darlin’
Oh don’t lose your head
'Cause none of us were angels
And you know I love you, yeah

Sleeping pills, no sleeping dogs lie never
Far enough away
Glistening in the cold sweat of guilt
I’ve watched you slowly winding down for years
You can’t keep on like this
Now is as bad of time as any

There, there, babyIt’s just text book stuff
It’s in the ABC of growing up
Now, now, darlin’
Oh don’t kill yourself
'Cause none of us were angels
And you know I love you, yeah

It’s okay by me
It’s okay by me
It’s okay by me
It was a long time ago
It’s okay by me
It’s okay by me
It’s okay by me
It was a long time ago

There, there, babyIt’s just text book stuff
It’s in the ABC of growing up
Now, now, darlin’
Oh don’t lose your head
'Cause none of us were angels
And you know I love you, yeah

There, there, baby
It’s just text book stuff
It’s in the ABC of growing up
Now, now, darlin’
Oh, don’t kill yourself
'Cause none of us were angels
And you know I love you, yeah

Midterms are allmost done !!!! Whootawhoot! Well All my in class ones are however I still need to do my lab mid terms in chem and bio, Speaking of chem labs I recieved my first A on my chem lab so I expect lots of applause.

This week has been insane in good and bad ways . . . I wouldnt say I enjoyed it all but I wouldnt have traded it for anything I dont think. Im very excited for the long weekend though were doing thanksgiving dinner on Monday and Im excited for REAL vegetables . . . mmmmmmmm

I recieved a comment that in my blog I "sound bipolar" This made me laugh and then I realized how true it really was. To clear things up I guess everything is just normal I mean good and bad things happen here just like they do everywhere else the only thing is that my blog sees all of the good and bad as it happens. Maybe that only makes sense to my sleep deprived mind.

I should go before this entry starts to be all rambling random like . . .


"Well the question is did you leave when you needed the change ? and was that the change you needed ?"

I have the strong urge to just lay in bed with my door locked and my head phones on. Just lay there with possibly some sort of food and milk (real milk) and my teddy bears and my bedding (obviously) . . . And NO rooster noises in the background (I just had to add that in there because I just heard one from down the hall)

Math is evil and should be outlawed . . . English classes should inexplicably overtake my entire course scheduale.

My foot is hurting quite a bit today and I do not enjoy that at all. Im in diree need of sleep I know that my body is not liking me at all right now. since falling asleep saturday night (Sunday morning) Ive had MAYBE 24 hours of sleep and close to 17 of those hours were spread out between 2 days. If that makes any sense at all . . .

Im really excited that this is thanksgiving weekend.

I keep trying to think of somethign interesting to write about however Im having very little luck doing that, Does someone want to give me an interesting life so that I dont feel bad about boreing people to deathw ith my non interesting one?

I have decided that post it notes are a necesity for dorm life . . . White board markers dry up but its so easy to write a note on a post it note and just stick it up on a door or something Ive done that twice already today . . . I also love to put little notes to myself on them and stick the all over the walls near my desk . . . Or write things on them like what room number my lsb is in . . . then I can just stick it on my clipboard and no one is wiser. Yes post it notes are indeed a grand invention!

I dont want to go to math class at all . . . Even though its not for another hour I still do not want to go. Nor do I want to go to my bio lab tonight . . . I hate labs there sooooooo friggin long and having them at night is just not fair. I kinna wanna take a nap RIGHT NOW THIS INSTANT so that I can stay aake through my bio lab . . . yes I should go do that.

I love tuesdays I truly do . . . I love that I only have 1 class and its not until 5 and I love that its only a 50 minute class.

I feel really far away from God right now . . . I know hes THERE somewhere I just wish I could feel him HERE. And its strange because things are actually going pretty ok right now. I really dont know I guess I just think somethings missing but maybe its more me then God.

I think Im goona go eat lunch . . .

I want to visit the galapogos islands
I want to trek through the amazon
I want to spend a week in a treehouse in the canopy of a rainforest
I want to go scuba diving
I want to visit australia
I want to go to antarctica and just stand on the edge of the world and just be and just experiance it and evrything else for that matter

Its currently7.54 AM I have showered gone for a power walk and studied . . . I have not slept. This can not be a good thing.

Bio+psych tests today

he said i didnt need therapy . . . i think some others would care to disagree

She said you look like Belle in that yellow coat of yours and I thought to myself how true that I would be a disney princess in a raincoat. As if the raincoat cheapens the princessness or does it make it into more ? Because I am a disney princess who can go out in the rain ?

I was talking to Jefferkins while I was studying and I was in a bio enduced haze we were talking about his trip to thiland and me in Newfoundland and we talked about it all and I said some stuff about me that I had never really said to anyone before not even myself I guess. And afterwords I came back and re read over the convo and I realized how true it was, how now after eating and distancing myself from bio I cant believe I said that yet at the same time it seems truer then true.

I am very fascinatedright now by a teeny tiny freckle on the inside of my right ankle . . .

Times they are achaninging

Note~I just realized that my blog is still on Alberta time so if you ever read a post and think to yourself "Carly ate breakfast before 6 am ???" Well dont worry . . . I actually ate at 9.30 so to anyone who actually looks at update times just add 3 and a half hours to whatever time you see.

So I went to the hospital today and came away with amazingly good news and not so good news.
I am out of the cast!!!!!!!!! I have been downgraded to a tensor bandage and some weird elasticy tube thingger that goes under it for added support.
Bad news ? The swelling wont go down for about 4-6 weeks (no high heels for carly) And the pain can be expeced to diminish with the swelling . . . BOO URNS however Im probally going to be ok for the last few games of rez intramural soccer.

I have decided that when eating dinner in the dining hall I need to eat less "real food" and save some room for ice cream. I allways want ice cream after I eat but after dinig hall potatos Im usually to blimpish to even consider ice cream with out wanting to barf.

Tommorow is Friday and that makes me happy for some reason the weeks seem to pass by really really super fast here I dont know if that is a good thing or a bad thing . . . we shall see.

This is becoming rambling so I shall stop now.

So in an attempt to give myself enough energy to get through my bio lab which goes until 10 I just carbloaded at dinner and let me tell you I disgust even my self right now (thought this would be a good addition to Nav's calorie blurb in her blog) So 4 peices of pita bread, 2 servings of mashed potatos and 1 sub bun later here I am. I may actually make it through the lab with out falling asleep . . . that would be grand!

I have also decided that updatign your blog more then once a day does not make you a geek . . .

So I changed my blog settings at the request of the "lovely??" Filbert, So now all of you non eblog people can comment and on that note Fil because this was for you I do expect comments !!!! . . .

In other news there are some people here who I love very much. I also love my english class, and there are other things I just cant think of the right now . . . I should go fold clothes
blaghhhhhhhh

Ok the dining hall cant screw up waffle mix . . . but they can screw up waffle machines
OI OI OI

I should get ready for chem . . . and english.

So I just realized all my entries have a theme . . . me beign miserable so Ive decided to treat you all to a happy entry even tho it starts not happy.

So yesterday SUCKED like it was horrible in so many ways . . . Well anyhow yesterday night around 1o.30ish i saw Wade ou int he hall and he was all happylike as usual and we ended up talking and then i helped him he into his room cuz the reason he was downstirs was to get a huge box from the trunk room so I held open doors and such well then we ended up talking while he emptied the box . . . and then we talked more and more and then we ended up ordering chinese food and then we talked more cuz it took forever to get here. And then we ate the yummy chinese food and then we talked more. . . it was fun it cheered me up. He gets points for that . . .

Then tonight at dinner he informed me that it was a date because "We spent lots of time together and odered chinese food" my oppinion ? I do not wear pyjamas on dates so PLEH.


PS to all those who read this and ?WoNdEr?
No "actual"dates took place in the course of this entry however it is completly true in its entririty you know what I mean!


Also I have not eaten unch yet this week so Im skipping shower/cast hell dousing my self in body spray and washing my hair in the sink and then going for breakfast . . . mm waffles. even dining hall cant screw up waffle mix!

I guess I odnt hate it here I mean theres some times when Im happier then I feel possible and Ive had soo much fun . . . Its just when Im not happy its magnified because I feel lonely+unhappy if that makes sense ?

soo Im stealing this idea from Nav who did it last year in her blog . . .

Carly needs
~A crispers party with Elvis
~Lots of change for the laundry machines
~Full mobility of her left foot/ankle/leg
~Lots of home cooked food
~Friends who know her
~To know where she fits in
~A large air conditioning unit in her dorm room
~All of the oc and csi on DVD
~30 hours in a day
~Diffrent profs
~A math tutor avaiable 30/7 to teach her math
~A new brain
~Lots of chocolate and junk food
~An unlimited ammount of spring rolls
~Lots of money to decorate her dorm room
~A private jet

So when I was at walmart I bought bedding . . . and let me tell you since etting bedding and adding soem stuff to my side of the room I feela touch happier (knock on wood) I may actually be settling in this would be a GREAT thing.

Today was Rday which is essentially the frosh get woken up at like 6 am line up get markered all over w/sharpie are made to chug warm beer and warm beer with cereal and then run around out side I was exempted because of the broken foot and the fact that I dont drink, Then you are put into cold showers fully clothed (once again exempted) Then you get to go back to bed till like 11 when they get you into the lobby more marker as well as make you dress in ridiculous value village fashions . . . and yes diapers were invovled, Then you go to the dinign hall and walka round saying "I am a maggot i am he scum between a maggots toes bt wait a maggot dosnt have toes there for i am nothing" then you eat. then you go downtown to a bar to get wasted . . . I still maintain that this is the day God forgot. I was dissapointed in myself that I would actually particiapte in it and it really opened my eyes to how being a witness means that you are a witness in word faith acts and observation as far as Im concerned me being there was bad enough.

I did stay home formt he bar trip though which leads me to how prodcutive today was I organised all my notes cleaned my side of the room posted test reminders all over stuff like that it was good. Im also excited for church tommorow . . . lunch after the service for all the first year students . . . real food not formd idnign hall or a fast food place Jesus loves me this I know.

The next 2 weeks are gonna be insane next week I have tests in every class with 2 tests each monday and friday and 1 on tuesday I need to talk to Kelly and ask her how to study. That is all for now though.

ode to walmart

this post is a tribute to walmart cuz i realized tonight no matter where you go walmart is pretty much the same im sure im insane for seeing walmart as comforting but cest la vie

tommorow is friday which is good friday is also a relativly easy day *yay* im done at 4 as opposed to 6 or 10

i want to go up to the itchen and make popcorn . . . its very much a priority right now
i think i may go do that

im so sick of trying i really am
my couses are insane i hate sciences but my ad said to stick with it for osme reason
im starting to think that i cant handle rez and i feel like a failure i just dont know how to be outgoing or anything im just not good at it
i cant walk anywhere fast or anything which turns me into more of a reject
i cry lots
i feel like i should be adjusting and im not
im so scared and angry and hurt
honest i feel like a failure

Soooo
Today may not be that bad it seems that Ive mastered walkign wigth just the cast and have abandoned the cruthces Im still just as slow I just stop less which is a god thing. Chris is silly and in my bad book wel actually no book because he has forsaken our walmart trip for a power nap,Im very unhappy about always being on campus. I know this sounds lame but Im really not confident going anywhere alone in this city yet and it seems whenever people do go somewhere Im in class or something not that t matters now because Im immobile anyway but you know. Im just going stir crazy . . . I think

Its not that I hate it here I dont Im just lonely that sums it all up

I am physically afraid of tommorow. Today was doable I only hadone class but it allmost killed me I have NO idea how Im gonna manage 4 classes and a lab in 3 diffrent buildings plus a trip to walmart . . . I may not make it through peoples.

I know I sound like a wuss but to and from class today was 25 minutes each way, And I hurt I hate the crutches and my foot for breaking. Stoopid foot it hurts now to because I tripped on a step today and stumbled and ended up with a lot of weight on it to prevent actually falling on it.

Im also bored because everyone is watching house in the TV room but Ive pretty much made up my mind that I am not moving until I need to.

hahahaha of flutterbut

seems I couldnt suck it up either . . . .

Soo getting ready for math class I chck my email and have an email telling me to call campus health so I do.Turns out the x ray tech was wrong and my foot is indeed broken. After 9 hours (5-2) in the ER I am back with a cast . . . Seems the break wouldv been minor if it hadnt spread to the joint. Lessons learnt

1)dont jump to touch celings
2)Trust ure bodily instinct and ask to speak to a doctor !!
3)listen to lesley anne
4)take cae of injuries

Im tired of typing

Sooo I am getting ready to leave for chem but now Im sorta postponing it for this reason.

You see peoples after teh doctor told me my foot wasnt actually broken I decided "Not broken=suck it up butter cup nooo crutches and nooooo resting it" which is ok cuz I hated not being involved in everything and sucha nd the crutches are eveil death sticks well here lays the non logic in this.

Last night extreme pain and a very non happy carly so the protctor who is an Ex medical aide 9think campus emr) comes down to look at it baisically proclaims that I am an idiot and by not using the crutches I prolly ste myself back a feww days, and realistically I will hurt like hell for a couple weeks essentially USE THE FRIGGEN CRUTCHES. . . not a nice thought no not at all.

I want my classes to be closer . . . and all on the ground floor . . . as opposed to english which is on the third floor Thank god for elevators.

I may have found the one palce on earth with more hospital trips then camp and that place is . . .
Pass me the envelope pleaseeee . . .
*Cue for everyone to hold breath anxiously*

REZ thats right ladies and gentleman so far in the 2 weeks we have had people here there have been 3 hospital trips 2 campus health trips and a few misc colds etc. Its a jungle here that is fosho but in the words of kenny Yah Coby !!!!!

Dont ask maybe its the fact that its 6 am local time and i havnt slept yet thats making me such a freak but really thats not an excuse because I slept all day.

Sleeping all day wasnt my plan you see otday was actually boat day but being on cructhes and having a sprained foot dettered me from wanting to spend the day with drunk people in the middle of the ocean not to mention Im in paina nd prolly owuldnt have enjoyed it as much as I would have not to mention Crutches+Cluts who has very little crutches experiance+Moving boat+los of drunk people=Possibly very big trouble.

However I did have one outing today so Im hanging out with Julie and Shawn around midnight when megan and ben come down and they are wondeirng if anyone can take ben to the hospital (which is 2 blocks away) cuz he is havign some ear issues so I volunteer cuz Im bored and need excitment and figure even I can hbble 2 blocks so I spent 2 hours with ben in the ER to find out he has an ear infection *rolls eyes* howeevr we learnt that ben has very nice ears ?!?!?! and walking wihout crutches when you were given crutches is a BAD IDEA. However by some strange twist of fate we met people in the ER one of whomw as a women who had sprained her ankle (poor gal it was at her sisters wedding and it wa sher birthday) and they offered to give us a ride home which we both thought was the sweetest thing ever . . . kindness of starngers is an awsome thing peoples.

I also wnat to reitterate that God is good even when we dont htink so he still is.

Things Im thankfull for

1)That even tho I still dunno where I fit in I do seem to have 2 or 3 semi close friends whom I love dearly
2)I met a very friendly couple at church who have actually offered to pick me up and drop me off which is very happy seeing as I dont know this city at all yet
3)My new bank card is in the mail
4)The swelling in my foot has gone down a bit now its more puffy then lumpy
5)My room mate has extra strength motrin
6)Tommorow is still the weekend
7)Chi Alpha christian fellowship
8)Elvis
9)Im kinna getting the hang of this crutches thing (even tho they still hurt)
10)I got to know someone else form rez today Ben
11)Since ebing here I have had many opprotunities to serve people in simple ways (like holding back hair while they puke)
12)I found out today that Julie is actually Salvation Army even tho she rarely attends
13)Answered prayers
14)The Disney movies that ryan lent me to watch while I lay in bed liek a lump with my foot up
15)My moms cuz she sent me my carebears calendar

So maybe my life isnt quite as big of a suckfest as I thought . . . I guess Im just having adjustment difficulties tehe Im such a psych student

PS at the hospital me and Ben placed bets on which antibiotics they would put him on Ben is Pre pharmacy Im pre psychology . . . I called amoxicillen I was right. I like beign right.

why my life is a suckfest

• my armpits hands arms and foot all hurt
• im alone
• the movies ryan lent me arnt working so im sitting here staring at a computer screen

essentially im bored lonely and injured

Sooo Im walking down the hall last night coing back from dinner and Im in a pretty good mood and I look up at the celing and thought to myself "hmmm thats pretty low" so I decide to just hop up and touch it . . . .

Well I jumped funny landed funny and my toe hurt really bad, So I didnt think anything of it the guys were like its nuthing if i still hurts in the morning got o campus health so I ignore it and go to bens with everyone ya know out n about having fun . . .

Well I wakw up this morning nd its bruised to shit but I still go to class right well I came in for lunch and showed julie and shawn and it is DISGUSTING purple blue green yellow swollen groosness. So I got o campus health, So the doctor looks at it feels it and tells me to go in for Xrays because as far as she can tell Ive either broken my foot or my toe. So I go to the hospital . . .

The Xray tech is a bitch who feels it necesary to grip thebruise and reef on my foot to position it so I cry in pain and she yells at me . . . Then I find out nothings broken its just sprained to shit . . . I hurt its all over my foot and ankle . . . I also have to use crutches so my hands and armpits also hurt. This is soo not how i imagined my first mont of university.

Soo I am very much on a new beatles craze the music amazes me and Im unsure of how I never liked them until now.

Now ontot he real stuff school is umm ok . . . I have a chem lab in like 45 minutes then I have math so essentially 4 hours straight of class then dinner . . . boourns. Im also concerned about having to add another chem tutorial because its another hour a week that I dont want to spend in class it will mean that including labs ill have 8 hours of chem a week and that is alot.

I really do not wanna go to math I hate that class and everything it represents not to mention I essentially just sit there and write down the notes so I dont really absorb or learn anything I really have no clue what to do about that. Thankfully I do have 1 day a week without it or I do not know what I would do.

English still makes me smile it would take a miracle for me to stop liking that class unfortunatly I did not have it today. I think tommorow is a relativly easy day no math no labs so I kinna think just chem english and bio I can handle that.

Also I think me and Adam are checking out the Chi Alpha christian fellowship thingger tommorow night and that would be fantabulous. I should get ready for lab/class.

I really wish I could just put a finger on whats really bothering me you know Im trying to be happy I really turley am, I wanna be happy. Contrary to what Ive said it really is ok here and I can see myself liking it . . . My english class is amazing Ive mets ome great people and have had sooo much fun at times, My room mate is a sweet heart and is really good about putting up witht he fact that Im an evilly homesick mopey pouty angsty weepy stress muffin, Im not trying to be this way I just dunno it just is, On top of all this Im still hpersensitive so of ocurse most of the stuff said to me I feel is a personal attack.

In other news Im wearing a black skirt with pink flowers and a mini pink crinoliny thing under it, The skirt is very girly and I am wearing it during my first . . . "Intense/severe post tropical storm" Thats right peoples Im weathering my first (post) hurricane with style. Its over rated Ive seen more rain at camp and its not really "stormish" just grey wet and VERY windy well windy to me.

Boat trip is this saturday I am still undecided as to if Im going to go.

I must go eat lunch now so that I can take a nap before bio maybe that way I can stay awake in the dim lecture halll with the cushy chairs and the prof with a cutesy lilting british accent . . .

oh yah and i miss mainstreet cafe cornmeal muffins and val and my random chats and the office ladies and getting cake. and goign for runs at 10 at night and feelng perfectly safe. and everything else

I take it back
I know exactly what to say

I miss home I miss my room and my bed and people, I miss camp and having some of the best people in the universe allways within walkign distance. I miss my mom and her randomly coming downsatirs at like 1 am to see what i was working on and her allways asking why i didnt go to church or student council. I miss my lil sister and the way when i was upset or sad she was allways there to bring me gingerale or anythign even when i snaped at her to leave me alone. I miss niki randomly calling me when she was in nanton i miss our random trips to high river to go to the roadhouse and her allways callign me to see why i was late when we were suposed to do lunch. I miss random 3 am phone calls and random 3 am humtys dessert trips with ty. I miss our OC nights. I miss kay and our hot tub sex in the city breezer nights. I miss high school and knowing where all my classes were and knowing my teachers and them knowing me and me not being afraid of them. I miss student council and SADD and choir and band and just being invovled. I miss sweet queen pizza and veggy burgers. I miss my church and my church family and my Sunday school kids I miss erin my church sister and her hugs and sitting with me I miss cory and the way she woul allways believe in me. I miss jesse helping me with math. I goign downtown tot he candy store with sadie and renting videos and how with her i could allways make things right no matter how mean i had been. I miss allways knowing whatt o do and how to do it right. I miss being surrounded by people who cared about me and wnated me to suceed I miss knowing exactly where i fit in. I miss my mountains and how they were there no matter what I miss ny house and the way the sun lights up the living room cuz of the windows I miss myr oom and my "easter egg walls" i miss the smell of my room and my stuffed animals and my throw rugs and my bed and my lime green desk light. I miss my pink cow boy hat. I miss nanton and how people allways say hi eevnw hen they dont know you I miss my cat and how he would just snuggle up with me and start purring as soon as i was in a stationairy position. I miss english class and our inside jokes like "the air ball" and our trips downtown to the candy store when everyone skipped. I miss the back porh and laying there and tanning and getting slivers. I miss carl and me calling him a stupied idiot for wanting to be a bull rider. I miss cabarets and knowing everyone on security meaning I was usually pretty well looked after. I miss umeko and our random outings i miss barbara kynna nd her just plain oddness and ow she loves everyone. I miss yearbook lunches and everythign about them. I miss everything about my life and mostly i miss telling myself how silly it was and how boreing it was . . .

I dunno what to say.
I really dont.
Nothing is stable anymore or reliale.
Because I lost eevrything I knew I could rely on.

RAWR

Ok so Im pissed !!! as in Angry as in lets scream at and shoot the world int he head angry ! I dotn even know how to explain it I know Im beign a bitch but serously I hate this !

Ok so I lost my bank card so I had to call and put a hold on my account . . . well then I found it however because I put a hold on my accountit wont work. Now here is why this makes me angry I need bedding, a chem book, lab coat, goggles and god only knows what else oh yah a phone card and grrrr I just dunno what to do ! and as if to make matters worse Becky seems to think that now is an awsome time to have peopel in our room like Im not pissy enuf I totally need people in here yep thats it.

I kinna hate rez sometimes like really all I want is friends but I dont have the confidence to go out and make friends so I sit and hope that someone will actually talk to me while all the while they think Im shya nd antisocial. I HATE THIS

HATEHATEHATEHATEHATE


I wish I was tired so that I could go to sleep . . .

RAWR

Ok so Im pissed !!! as in Angry as in lets scream at and shoot the world int he head angry ! I dotn even know how to explain it I know Im beign a bitch but serously I hate this !

Ok so I lost my bank card so I had to call and put a hold on my account . . . well then I found it however because I put a hold on my accountit wont work. Now here is why this makes me angry I need bedding, a chem book, lab coat, goggles and god only knows what else oh yah a phone card and grrrr I just dunno what to do ! and as if to make matters worse Becky seems to think that now is an awsome time to have peopel in our room like Im not pissy enuf I totally need people in here yep thats it.

I kinna hate rez sometimes like really all I want is friends but I dont have the confidence to go out and make friends so I sit and hope that someone will actually talk to me while all the while they think Im shya nd antisocial. I HATE THIS

HATEHATEHATEHATEHATE


I wish I was tired so that I could go to sleep . . .

The beautys of rez life . . .
Mmmk so its been a few dyas since Ive posted and now I have about 10 minutes till I need to leave for math so Ima gonna post!

So school is umm interesting Im kinna stressy about chem and math but hopefully they will go allright, English is AWSOME bio, bio should be good and I havnt had psych yet but I have it for 2 and a half HOURS tonight so we shall see how that goes.

Rez is okI mean Im homesick but honestly I think rez is the best place to be for that I mean whereever I go there are people and its grrreat. I came across an article on sympatico today and mentioned it to Becky and at the same time we said "Yah but how much do we actually SLEEP in our own room??" Yah tru story on that we dont. However in my defense Rumboldts cushy matress is grrreat for minimal ammounts of sleeping (IE falling asleep yesterday afternoon for an hour while he set up his TV and such)

So yah Newfoundland is ok I see it as being doable I think . . .meh Ill decide in a week or so.

Critical reading and writing

Soooooo classes started this morning and Ive ben subjected to the horrors of intros to chem which Im thinkign will prove to be interesting. However the sheer beauty of english makes me smile and my tummy tickles you know that feeling you get when you walk into a class room and your whole body tingles from the excitment of what might happen ? yah english gave me that feeling. Also while reading voer my course outline realized that "I Icarus" is one of our poems and I read it in grade 12 so I feel ahead allready (thanks Mrs.B) Anyhow Im gonna header and finish some stuff then go eat lunch however Im pretty much free until 3 so I might be back!
Luvvyz!!

home is where the heart is

mmmk so after gosh knows how many hours on a plane Im actually here . . . Its actually pretty cool my roomate is nice and other then beong hellah homesick its good. Maybe its not hmesck maybe Im just scared . . .
I should go upack some more . . . or explore my house

PS the mascot for the house is the fighting game cock

its a rooster

Well this is it this all, This will be more then likely my last blog thing where this is my home . . . Well it iwll allways be my home but you know. I have the feelign after today it wont ever really be the same. So I leave my house in about half an hour then were gonna be running aorund in calgary pickign up a few last minute things then at 12.36 tonight I will board a plane bound for Newfoundland.

This is it peoples. I will be emailing out my new adresss/phone number soon and until then bonvoyage all my alberta peoples its been good!

PS prayers are allways appreciated !!

MISSING

Soo in less then 24 hours Ill be on a plane to Newfoundland.
Pretty cool huh?
Pretty scary huh?
Well Im not thinking about either of those things because
A~I have a killer headache
and
B~~My clarinet is missing

Yep thats right folks somewhere between school ending and uni starting my clarinet has gone kapoot now this wouldnt be a big problem
except Im enrolled in concert band . . .

I AM FREAKING OUT!!!!!!!

If I dotn find it Im screwed I mean puttign aside that Im gonna need it it is an extension of me . . it is my baby . . . it is my clara . . . (yah I named it)

I know this is kinna islly cuz like by the time anyone reads this if anyone reads it at all Ill prolly be like on my way to the airport . . . but prayers for finding my clarinet and getting there ok would be greatly appreciated.

Im gonna go try and get some sleep.
meaning Im gonna go read for hours . . .

Soooooooooo . . .
yah . . . .
Plane ticket still not booked . . . my moms doing it with this odd lil air miles master card thingger so Im kinna whut evs about it Ill leave it to her as her last motherly taking care of me thingger before I leave.

Yah leaving hmmm not liking that idea much anymore . . . It creeps me out that tommorow is prolly my last night in MY BED in MY ROOM. *tear*

Today was fun me and nik and chars went for dinner at the "new" (it was opened while I was at camp and I havnt been there yet so its new to me) pizza place in town it was ok not fantastic but ok.

Kinna feeling sickish right now and bored . . . Chewie wants me to read song of songs maybe Ill go start on that.

toodles for now

PS Anyone from camp who has camp pix should email them to me *Nods*

read blue like jazz
anyone hwo sees this should go out and find that book and read it
BLUE LIKE JAZZ

Mmmmmk so BC was pretty darn cool it was great seeing my family again! and I got to go to cultas which made me smile and I got my haircut it rocked.

So were on commercial drive {This really culturally diverse street in east vancover} eating dinner in this little resteraunt and the main door leading out onto the street is wide open so you can pretty much hear everythign not to mention our table is right by the patio so yah. Well all of the sudden I hear this drumming and tambourine music and Im like WHATTTT?!?!?!?!? So I turn around to look onto the street and theres these fairly young guys Id say within a few years of my age walking up the street drumming in orange toga like robes (The type that budhist monks wear) and weird hair like shaved heads except one little tail thing on the top and I was like dude! And my aunt who lives in Van says to me offhandedly oh its the Hare Krishnas out to save us all

and as random of a comment as it was it really made me think. How bold in my faith am I really? I mean personally I can imagine beign able to walk down a crowded street proclaiming the word of Jesus . . . It made me kinna sad that allthough we tend to "condemn" (and I use this term loosely) cultists and look at them as being brainwashed they do have this evangelism thing down. Just some food for thought. (Oh and Im not plannning on joining a cult)

Other then that little tidbit I dont really know what to write, Because I was on the bus all night when I finally got home at 8 am I pretty much just wanted to sleep so that is what I did until 3 in the afternoon lol I know Im horrible eh ? Then I went down to the bar to visit with my mommy and some of her friends it was actually really fun I really enjoyed being treated like an adult.

Tommorow is kinna up in there air Im going for lunch but Im also suposed to go into calgary with my mom so we shall see what hapens perhaps Calgary will be postponed.

And hey if anyone actually reads this please leave a comment so I at least feel like theres a purpose to writing in here other then satisfying my own need for venting lol.


I don't care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul

Creep~Radiohead

back ?home?

So Im home from BC just thought Id post really quick. I should be back on later today but for now its time for sleep.

rap music reminds me of you

yah i know i am actually listening to rap lol I can think of more then one person who would probally disown me if they knew well to bad for them.

So anyhow I figured I would write a to do list of sorts in here maybe that way I will actually get some stuff done so here goes.

To Do


(before leaving for BC)
Laundry
Pack
Tidy up a bit in the basement
write down "blogger" password so that I can update from BC

(Before leaving BC)
figure stuff out for coming home and beign in edmt

****Before leaving for Newfoundland****
Laptop
Laundry
Pack
Make list of what I need to get in St Johns
Get peoples adresses (mailing)
Check bank account possibly open new one for savings etc ?
Clean basement do final check to makesure I have everything
Call childrens about my yearly checkup
Get health insurance card from my mommy



*~*~*~*~*~*All lists subject to chnage*~*~*~*~*~*

stars

have you ever just looked up at the stars and wondered ?

I mean nothing to me reaffirms my belief in a God more then the stars do I mean just think about it they are millions upon millions of sparkly objects and that in itself is pretty cool but just I dunno there is something about them.

A friend told me that the song amazing grace was written by a sailor.
I guess one night this guy was out to sea (tehe that sounds so funny) but anyhow he was like looking up at the skys and saw the stars and wam bam alacazam God became real and he wrote amazing grace. (He also became a christian)

I mean thats amazing.
really it is .

Soooooo I had something really important to say but it seems to have dissapeared . . . to bad.

Isnt it amazing how you find htings exactly when you REALLY REALLY need them like friends ? and jewllery ? and other things . . .

So Today was allmost productive and by allmost I mean not at all . . . come to think of it I have no lcue where it went. Did lunch with niki and then chilledout at home, Then went over to dawns to choose the songs for sunday worship (YAY my last church service and Im helping lead worship this makes me happy!!)

And just because I typed that I had to check to see if it really was my last and holy cow IT IS !!!! next sunday ill probally hopefully be in edmonton and then after that Ill be in Newfoundland. That makes me strangly sad. However if Im not in edmonton then it wont be my last sunday in which case Ill just be sad cuz you know that sunday will be my last. None of this makes sense does it ?

So going to BC hmm should be interesting cuz 14 hours on a bus well how can it not be interesting ! However it should be cool when I gett here I think my aunt is trying to organise some BBQ thingger for me (awww isnt that special) However last I heard she wnated a recipe for "Vegetarian Maui Ribs" hmmm anyone else a bit nervous ? (PS I also laugh at how I have no clue how to spell vegetariean)

So anyways not much else to say other then I think ive mastered packing . . . My black suitcase and a large tupperware container shall be my stored luggage and my pink mine as well as my Dickies bag shall me my carry on . . . God is gonna have to help me learn how to fit 10 months worth of stuff into that much. I have faith that he will.

Anyhow this is probally starting to osund really retarded so im audi !!
Ciao
Cyanora
Adios
Au revoir
Arigoto
Hasta La Vista !

"Revolution"

If I'm here all alone
If I'm left behind
If they spit in my face
If they hate my kind

I will rise above
I will live for love
I will answer to the call
For the bond between
For the depth unseen
For my God forsake it all

'Cause I'm a fire
I'm a flood
I'm a revolution
I am a war
Already won
I'm a revolution

When the world is at war
When the grace is gone
When the hungry lay dead
While the rich live on

I will rise above
I will live for love
I will answer to the call
For the bond between
For a depth unseen
For my God forsake it all

(Here I stand)Open hands
Waiting for You
I won't back downI
I'll live to speak Your truth

for some reason i felt like i should write an actual blog with like you know real paragraphs and stuff. So yeah I came home from camp on saturday. Coming home was hard but I guess I had to at some point.

Saturday night me and niki went out to High River after watching a movie (Sahara) At my house it was fun but I was uberly tired. Sunday I went into calgary got some shopping done got a SWEET bag at claires it is brown and pretty. Monday I hung out with niki some more we had lunch I had yummy sweet potato and pumpkin soup it was delish, That night I hung out with val and that made me smile. Yesterday I went into okotoks to get luggage (lugage wow scary Im actually moving) I also got to see the loverly jennifer one last time before I leave. Today I mostly hung around at home and got some more stuff in order for the fall (faxing off final grades and housing confirmation forms)
Tonight I think Im just gonna watch a movie possibly do some laundry seeign as i havnt since I got home from camp.

I am suposed to leave for BC on sunday to see everyone there before I leave I very much want to visit the Salvation Army War College and the 24 hour prayer room, The idea of being in such a God inspired God filled atmosphere excites me. Not that everywhere isnt God filled just I dunno its an amazing thing ladies and gentleman and I would love to experiance it. I also want to check my bank account and see if I can afford to do a little bit of shoppingin van . . . Not that I need anything hmmm I actually take that statement back. No shopping for carly.

My goal after BC is to fly straight into Edmonton this gives me an opprotunity to see the lovely Elvis once more before I leave I would also like to possibly visit Lilo and plunger . . . However I do not think that all of that will be possible but you never kow I mean God does work in weird ways.

But anyhow I am off to go rent a movie . . . Any ideas anyone ?

Once upon a time there was a beautifull fairy tale princess who was ready to move to a new fairy tale kingdom to attend princess school. However before she did this she needed the fairy tale princess lap top of her dreams . . .

that is where my problems start i know nothing about computers except i need one for next yr . . . by need i mean want
horribly want

I found a very nice version of when stars go blue and that makes me happy.

Other then that Im just getting ready to head into okotoks yay for walmart to look for luggage for the impending move thats right MOVE ! In 19 days (give or take) Ill be in St Johns
HOLY CAJAMOLY

I am home
I am tired
I need to do laundry
And start packing
I got into rez . . . that means I have a house (yay for answered prayers)
I really want to visit BC and Edmonton before I leave for Newfoundland

I couldnt resist

10 YEARS AGO
How old were you?: 8
What school year were you in?: 3
Where did you go to school?: Renfrew Elementary
Where did you work?: nowhere
Where did you live?: Calgary
Where did you hang out?: My house or After school care
What was your hair style?: Brown straight
Did you wear braces?: Nope
Did you wear glasses?: Nope
Who was your best friend?: Carlie C
Who was your boyfriend/girlfriend?: No one
Who was your celebrity crush?: Prolly one of the hanson brothers
Who was your regular-person crush?: Adam
How many piercings did you have?: Ears
How many tattoos did you have?: None
What was your favorite band?: Spice Girls
What was your biggest fear?: Alligators,Sharks
Had you smoked a cigarette yet?: Nope
Had you gotten drunk or high yet?: Nope
Had you driven yet?: Nope

-------------------------------------------5 YEARS AGO
How old were you?: 13
What school year were you in?: 8
Where did you go to school?: J.T.Foster
Where did you work?: Babysitting
Where did you live?: Nanton
Where did you hang out?: My house, Umekos, Alishas
What was your hair style? Brown, Short
Did you wear braces?: Yep
Did you wear glasses?: Yep
Who was your best friend?: Dont remember prolly Alisha
Who was your boyfriend/girlfriend?: didnt have one
Who was your celebrity crush?: Hmmm Dont know
Who was your regular-person crush?: Thats a secret
How many piercings did you have?: Ears and Nose pretty soon after the start of grade 9
How many tattoos did you have?: None
What was your favorite band?: Dont remember
What was your biggest fear?: Same as 5 years ago
Had you smoked a cigarette yet?: Nope
Had you gotten drunk/high yet?: Nope
Had you driven yet?: Nope

-------------------------------------------------- --------------HA HA HA!!! LETS SEE WHERE YOU ARE NOW !!!!!-------------------------------------------------- --------------How old are you?: 18
What school year are you in?: betwJust finished grade 12
What school do you go to?: Soon to be Memorial Univeristy of Newfoundland
Where did you work?: PLC
Where do you live?: Nanton till tommorow then camp then nanton for 2 more weeks then St.Johns
Where do you hang out?: Anywhere lol
What is your hair style now?: Long Brown Wavy
Do you wear braces?: Nope
Do you wear glasses?: Nope
Who is your best friend?: Nic, Kay, Dest, Jesse
Who is your boyfriend/girlfriend?: Dont have one
Who is your celebrity crush?: Dont really have one
Who is your regular-person crush?: That is also a secret
How many piercings do you have?:None
How many tattoos?: None
What is your favorite band?: Dont have one
What is your biggest fear?: Failure
Have you smoked a cigarette yet?: Nope
Have you gotten drunk or high yet?: Yep
Had you driven yet?: Nope

This is how you spell surreal . . .

Tommorow is grad. WOW 13 years of school condensed into one day of hair appointments pictures tears and a scroll. . . wow . . . I really dunnoh ow I feel about this at all I mean I cant help but be excited but at the same time I cant believe that its ALL OVER, every other June Ive known what the next year would be like. This is a whole new ball game ughh I really wanna say "wow" again.

My hair is at 9 but my pix arnt until 3 so I might update before then if I cant fidn anything better to do . . .

Im gonna go watch a movie

Thought Id update before I wrote so that I could actually get some brain activity. By the time I fell asleep it was 2 am Im not impressed not impressed at all. It helps the part B is multiple choice it wont take that long.

But I should go and kinna get ready . . . Apparently its frowned upon if your late for a diploma exam hmmmm who woulda thunk it ??

Im not liking how everything needs to get done this week.
It scares me.

I cant sleep this irritates me especially seeing as I write english tommorow morning and then am doing the last of my camp shopping tommorow afternoon then is coffee and devo 101 with the beautifull Brit and then my last student council windup, Wedensday is decorating and then our grad rehersal, Thursday is grad friday and saturday are partys (Nikis and mine) Sunday I leave ughhhhhh I very much need to pack.

In the chaos of our basement flooding and my sister playign with my stuff my necklace for grad has gone missing im upset over this especially since my sister is making me feel guilty for beign upset. Well she shouldnt have taken it out of its box and moved it !!!!!

Im very much enjoying using my blog as just a place to vent, It makes it funner (is that a word??) to update.

Im gonna go try and sleep again.

(changing blog formats makes me :D )