I sometimes wish I had a place here not just a social place but a physical place. Somewhere to go in the times like now where Im scared confused sad angry hurt stressed etc somewhere where I could just sit and be on my own and really on my own not just on my own in a house full of people. Sometimes I just wish I could have that . . .

Tommorow is going to be a good day Im not sure that it will be but I really want to believe that, I wish I could hate it here Tanya is leaving at the end of this semester and that saddens me alot. I wish I could hate it here enough to just leave . . . But I know Id feel like I was missing something.

I know you didnt bring me out here to drown
So why am I 10 feet under and upside down ?
Barely surviving has become my purpose
Because Im so used to living under the surface
If I could just see you everything would be alright
If I could see you this darkness would turn to light
Lifehouse~Storm

This song was playing while I was typing and I had to put in those lyrics they are just so true right now . . .
I wish I more less melancholy sometimes Im actually happy . . . Maybe Ill make a note to write in here during those times.