This is how you spell surreal . . .

Tommorow is grad. WOW 13 years of school condensed into one day of hair appointments pictures tears and a scroll. . . wow . . . I really dunnoh ow I feel about this at all I mean I cant help but be excited but at the same time I cant believe that its ALL OVER, every other June Ive known what the next year would be like. This is a whole new ball game ughh I really wanna say "wow" again.

My hair is at 9 but my pix arnt until 3 so I might update before then if I cant fidn anything better to do . . .

Im gonna go watch a movie

Thought Id update before I wrote so that I could actually get some brain activity. By the time I fell asleep it was 2 am Im not impressed not impressed at all. It helps the part B is multiple choice it wont take that long.

But I should go and kinna get ready . . . Apparently its frowned upon if your late for a diploma exam hmmmm who woulda thunk it ??

Im not liking how everything needs to get done this week.
It scares me.

I cant sleep this irritates me especially seeing as I write english tommorow morning and then am doing the last of my camp shopping tommorow afternoon then is coffee and devo 101 with the beautifull Brit and then my last student council windup, Wedensday is decorating and then our grad rehersal, Thursday is grad friday and saturday are partys (Nikis and mine) Sunday I leave ughhhhhh I very much need to pack.

In the chaos of our basement flooding and my sister playign with my stuff my necklace for grad has gone missing im upset over this especially since my sister is making me feel guilty for beign upset. Well she shouldnt have taken it out of its box and moved it !!!!!

Im very much enjoying using my blog as just a place to vent, It makes it funner (is that a word??) to update.

Im gonna go try and sleep again.

(changing blog formats makes me :D )

I remember when you held me
And pulled me closer when I got scared
I remember when you promised you would allways be there
But your gone now and nothing remains
I want to know what your thinking
And how you could lie
But Im to tired to care
And to afraid of losing you another time
So Ill sit here and think
About when it all seemed ok
And Ill cling to the moments before the sun rise
And before everythign returns to normal
Because those are the moments when I still hear your voice
Telling me it will all be ok


Yah yah ok so Im sorry its lame . . . It was just alot better then actually telling someone how I felt. Im sorry I will try not to subject anyone else to my pathetic poetry only the semi decent stuff will end up in here.

Until then its time to hit the sheets!

Onward and Upward

Today at church was our "Graduation program" meaning that the service was directed at the grad's in our church family. This was very cool seeing as really there were only 3 of us but we recrutied 2 more to make it into 5 I was the only girl I felt special. The service was pretty sweet and then after words was a BBQ with presentations to the grads which was also sweet, Then the 5 of us were given baloons to release into the air. That was the sweetest part of all not only did I get the pink baloon but mine went the highest and that made me smile.

Im still feelign weepy . . . I am very much not liking this Im thinking Im just on overdrive. However I am very much excited for camp "A change is as good as a rest" Right ?? and that is what I most definatly need is a change.

I didnt mention yesterday that I went camp shopping that made me very happy it was fun and felt kinna like Christmas in June . . . Hemp+Beads=Happy Carly. However camp shopping was just a reminder of how much I need to get doen and how little time I have to do it in. I may use this afternoon to work on some of my devotionals for camp . . . That would be productive.

I dont know what else really to write but I may update a bit morel ater depending on how bored I am.

Im feeling very weepy right now for lack of a better word . . . I actually have tears in my eyes and that yucky headachey feeling that comes with tears not being cried. I dont know that anythings WRONG actually really it isnt . . . Im pumped for camp excited for grad and happy about university Im even happy about getting out of here . . . Thats proballly why Im weepy because Im still here.

Sometimes Ijust feel like no matter how hard I try no one REALLY TRULY cares. The only time they care is when thigns get to be to much and i completly bottom out . . . It would just be so much easier if people cared before then. Im not trying to complain or overexagerate Im not as bad as I seem in here I guess Im just stressy. But no one seems to think that Im entitled to be stressy . . . "Oh carly why would you be stressed you never DO anything"

Hmm maybe because I have diploma exams, tryign to get ready for camp, my mothers new marrige, boy issues, friend issues health issues, starting uni, moving and a million other random thigns that need my attention daily. And on top of all that the idea of GRADUATING high school yah as fun as it is its SCARY. Yah I have zero idea why I might be stressed. I guess I just want to feel liek someone actually realizes what Im tryign to deal with (Yah I know thats why Jesus and God is there . . . it just I dunno dosnt feel like it)

Camp makes me happy though it does remind em that god is there. And I found a grad escort that also happy. Just not happy enough, Maybe im just having a girly stint and just need a good cry . . . I should go do that.

4 days till grad !!!!!!!
7 days till camp !!!!!!

our basement flooded
that makes me sad
i got holey shoes
they are pink
that makes me happy
grad=13 days
camp=16 days

God is good people . . . God is good.

have I mentioned that God is good?

I am pretty much stoked for camp yah Id say stoked is a good word. I kinna wanna go on a mini shopping tirpsometime before camp I wouldl ike a new flashlight (preferable a cheapy head lamp lol) as well as a fleecy of somesort I also need to pick up misc items like sunscreen and craftyness stuff. Thank you to Nav for the tips of what to bring. School is cool mostly because scholarships are a girls best friend. Grad is in 15 days . . . HOL MAJOLYY I can not believe I just typed that uh oh . . . Thats kinna scary and if grad is in 15 days it means I lave for camp in uhhh 18 days . . yay camp!!!

Im looking back on alot of things lately and Im in AWE of how much some stuff has changed and even more in awe of how much Ive changed. Its because of all this chnage that Im so excited for where my life is heading . . . But with this excitment cuz alot of nervousness. In 15 days I will be done high school FOR EVER in 19 days I will leave for what is usre to be an amazing sumer at camp and then around 14 days after getting home from camp I will be leaving for Newfoundland. . . WOW

My English 30-1 diploma part A was this morning . . . It made me wanna say boo urns which I stole from Nav. Not so much was it hard just irritating, Especially because I thought it was yesterday which would make sense if I took social because it is tommrow but seeing as I took social last yr it really makes zero sense. I do have a strange urge to write poetry tho again . . . Im gonna have to think on that.

I am praying that my basement does not flood . . . I dont have the energey to "flood proof" my bed room . . . nor am I noah meaning I dotn have an arc to move my house on to.

This has beem random and badly typed it is a reflection of my exhaustion.

uh oh our rooms locked

Staff tarinign was this weekend I am very excited for the summer, The camp is AMAZING and the staff is even more AMAZING I can completly see myself beign aroudn them 24/7 for 6 weeks this summer. So some highlights of the weekend

The drive to camp with Nav and Fil and me of course the amazing dissapearing gravol and "Wow you did it too so we both suck at life!"

Gettign to camp and running to a building screaming pee pee pee peee peeeeeee

Being drawn on "Wow you actually sorta look like stan now!" "ughhhh hey guys can you please make it a lil less satan like"

Jumping into a very polluted lake to clean off after yucky twister . . . Did I mention it was allmost hailing ? oh and gettign back to the lodge and being informed that our room was locked and we werel ockedout . . .

"Your at pine lake now!"

Carebear and me . . . we make a good team

I dunno really whut else to put now except i am completly amazed and cant wait for the summer. but I must got ake a nap I have my scholarship luncheon majigger tommorow and i would liek to be awake when I meet the commitee! Wishh me luck and prayers please ?

Don't try to hold on to this moment,Because when you wake upI'll be gone.


This weekend was AMAZZZZZZZZING lol, Some fave memories include . . .

1~Seeing B and Julie again
2~Signing my mums marrige certificate and being a witness at the wedding
3~Yawinign into my bouquet in the middle of the ceremonys and getting a HUGE mouth full of pollen
4~Allmost cracking up in the middle of the ceremony
5~All of us bridal party girls being late walking down the aisle
6~Being told that i had to do a toast to the groom at the reception . . . did i mention thta i was told at the same time as everyone else in the hall?
7~Climbing onto th baseball dugout in my gown (think long red fitted)
8~Ditching my shoes numerous times
9~being awake for 24 hours straight
10~to save time everything

I mustest go get some sleep im exhausted