Its 5.30 am . . . My flight leaves in 7 hours. Im not packed actually I havnt even finished laundry yet, oh well itll get done I hope . .. right? prolly.

I woke up with a runny/stuffy nose that seems to have multiple personality disorder and a sore throat that seems to have anger issues. It seems my body recognizes camp as a time to be sick. Bugger.

My "goodbye party" was last night, It made me cry a lil, As much as I'm excited for the kids Ill get to meet this summer I hate leaving home I really do and Christmas seems like a long way off. Its weird to think that I'm growing up Nanton doesn't quite feel like home because I lived out of 2 suitcases while I was here and my room and life seem kind of empty. St Johns isn't quite home because Ive lived there less then a year and it doesn't have as many memories or it does but there not those shared through years memories. Scotian Glen isn't home because Ive never been there before . . . Am I homeless?? Or do I simply have to many homes ?

Ive kind of made a promise of myself to read 1 gossip girl novel each week it will be my extreme guilty pleasure way of staying sane. so far I have the first 2 to start with and Ill get another 2 the first time I'm at chapters. I'm excited :D

I need to pack a cowboy hat . . . It matches all my westerny clothes cuz I'm cool like that.

Everyone (FIL) should join facebook so they can look at all my new pretty pictures :)

I should stop procrastinating and start packing.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo <3

My room is a mess, Theres two suitcases that look like they exploded it makes me kind of sad to know that in a few days I'm gonna be packing again. Ive spent the last 2 months counting down the days to get out of this town and now here I am and I wanna stay, Funny thing is that I don't quite know why. Maybe its that when I'm here I know where I am and where I'm going and its all so safe or maybe its because when I'm here other people know who I am. Theres a sense of security that comes from having someone else there to tell you who you are when you forget. Its funny though because I know I couldn't handle being here for much longer and I know that the reasons that I want to stay here are the exact reasons why I need to leave.

I love getting there . . . but I hate going.

wow so anyone else think I suck at posting? Whatever I made the 10 day mark . . .

I went to Calgary this weekend it was SWEET . . . I got to see Nav.

I also made money which was really nice I like money, my friends aunt asked me today what I was gonna be after I got out of school. At first I said a social worker then I paused and said no I take that back . . . Ill be in debt.

I leave for camp in 9 days any one wanna come over and pack and clean for me ? I will bake you brownies for your effort AND you will get to see me which would be pretty sweet cuz well I'm amazing.


People are really dumb maybe I just set impossibly high standards but I get upset when guys get pouty and angry and act like petulant children for no good reason and FYI . . . Saying "Do you know who I am?" Doesn't make you sound special it makes you sound retarded.

I ordered tea this morning . . . I rarely order tea, but I did quite enjoy it.

my feet are cold . . . I wonder if this has anything to do with the water on our basement floor?
Its tradition come June it rains our basement floods and I relocate to the guest room. Somethings are meant for the out doors some are meant for indoors do you remember kindergarten and elementary school and your teachers saying "Inside voices" Well I'm a firm believer in inside water and outside water . . . outside water should not be in my basement.

I guess though my feet being cold is more then likely completely unrelated to the basement seeing as 1)I'm upstairs and 2)Compared to most years this is nothing theres only a thin layer of water along the south and west walls and it only extends out at most 10ish feet but mostly no more then 5. I realized how used to the flooding Ive become I remember the first year we flooded (grade 11) I was completely shocked when I came home to find my bed room floor floating (paneled floor the water goes underneath pushing the wood up) and the rest of our basement covered in water this year and last year I knew ahead of time that we would prolly flood so I ran around before hand putting everything up.

There was a documentary on last night called "The Bridge" a crew set up cameras and filmed the suicides and attempted suicides on the golden gate bridge. They then tracked down and interviewed friends,families,survivors and witnesses. It was one of those thinker films that I don't see myself liking but I always end loving.

Sometimes I think I forget to breathe . . .