So I’m kind of lame I’m actually writing this blog in word on the bus home form Edmonton and then I’m going to cut and paste it when I have internet . . . am I not super hard core?

Edmonton was Pretty much amazing and defiantly the highlight so far of my being home, YC was pretty sweet and it was GREAT to get to spend so much time with the lovely lilo especially since I have not seen her since the end of camp . . . 9 months is much to long to be away from such amazing people! I also was able to meet mike which was pretty cool AND lilos family which was also very cool me and her sister had some funny conversations at YC “And then I can take you shopping and teach you how to shop for all the cool clothes” I was also able to see buttercup, cocoa, carebear and one of the campers from teen camp to reiterate what I’ve been saying all along it was soooooo nice to see people from camp again!

I was also blessed to see some people from ABC who I have not been able to see since last year before I left. Stacey was in charge of the ABC booth and I got to enjoy some time with her there we had some really nice conversations and I realized how truly amazing she is. Chris (One of the members from the Nanton ministry team last year) Was also at YC and I spent some time helping him with his friends booth I was also able to meet his lovely wife! AND to make it al even better ricot was also at YC it was great to see him again I also met a friend of his who knows one of my friends from school which was very sweet!

Seeing all of these people again made me remember where I was last Spring and the choices I was having to make between bible college and MUN, It was a difficult choice to make and sometimes I do wish I had chosen ABC however I know that memorial is where I am meant to be and I know that God will use me there just as he would use me here. Chris has also invited me to check out his youth group one night and I just might take him up on that offer the next time I’m in the city.

YC itself was pretty amazing as well I was defiantly reminded of Gods presence in my life. Also I GOT TO MEET LEELAND!!!!! And talk to them!!!!!!! And get stuff autographed!!!!!!!! AND I saw there side stage show and I was ON THE FLOOR! (sorry Jordan! But I promise I got you something!) United played twice which was really sweet I was kind of disappointed with some of the worship bands but maybe I’m just getting old. Phil Dooley spoke and I love him so that was nice and I did enjoy the Rebecca st james concert. But the highlight was defiantly leeland. Sunday morning me Lilo and Mike went to church in ST Albert and it was really nice and down to earth and I enjoyed it a lot I also got an early start on meeting Elvis’s Mom Dad and Brother which was nice because I was going to be staying at there house for the next few days.

Sunday night we left YC early and I said goodbye to Lilo :’( to head over to Elvis’s house to start our time together :D :D :D I can not possible describe how thrilled and overjoyed I was to see her again. We ate dinner with her family and then went to IGA to pick up all of our favorite junkfood stuffs (Crispers, Pop, Chocolate Bars And twizzlers to use as straws) Then we visited for a bit and decided to watch life as we know it (amazing show and I recommend it to anybody. We also realized that even though we would be doing individual activities (facebooking, MSNing etc) just being in each other presence was more then enough.

Monday we slept in super late then watched more life as we know it until it was time for us to leave for her to go to work, So while she did that I visited with graham which was nice because I hadn’t seen him in years and then him and elly visited while I had a coffee date with mel . . . coffee was one of the highlights of the trip just to talk about stuff that isn’t talked about often and even though some of it was sad it felt really nice to reconnect with someone like that. After that me elly and graham met up again and went for dinner to BPs with his friend Kat and it was really fun and just an overall good time.

Tuesday me and elly watched more life as we know it and then went down to white ave to browse and take pictures. She is truly an amazing photographer and I recommend that everyone check out her pics (you can find them on my facebook :P) Then we met up with graham again and I decided after plenty of deliberation to get my belly button pierced random I know! We got it done in divine and I was TERRIFIED but graham went in with me and the piercer was really really good really laid back and made me feel so comfortable but also very professional. And surprisingly it didn’t hurt as much as I expected it to it hurt less then my nose! And I think I handled it well.

Wednesday was my last day in Edmonton :’( I ended up waking up at AM because I had a horrible stomach ache prolly from our steady diet of junk food but I was able to get back to sleep so then me and El slept in and then finished off life as we know it!!!! Then we got ready to go and I packed, The goodbye at the red arrow station was super said. But I would not have traded anything this weekend for anything. Me and Elly talked a lot about stuff and if we would change it but I think we agreed that we wouldn’t . . . Even the fact that we were not friends to start with because I guess it all leads us to where we are now.


UPDATE since writing this I being sooo uber smart left my cell on the bus . . . please pray :)

I leave in 3 weeks :(

Sooo its past 3 and I cant sleep . . . suprise suprise



I would really like to sleep Im boreddd . . . I just cant its like theres some switch in my brain and its on when really it should be off . . . My brain is robotic like that Im sure Ill start hhearing buzzing sounds soon. So instead of actually sleeping or trying to sleep Im sittign here listening to radiohead and typing out random drab thoughts that will probally put anyone reading this to sleep.



I dont quite understand our world . . . I see stuff and it makes me want to cry . . . I read stuff and it makes me want to drop out of school and go and save the world. I get this odd little tugging sensation in the back of my mind that Imd oign somethign wrong but the only wrong in what Im doing is that Im doing nothing . . . Im sitting Im reading it Im seeing it but Im not stopping it Im not helping it Im not changing it Im some clueless observer in a sea of faces that is made up of other clueless observers.

Ive also decided that I dislike CNN and the news in general I was neevr one to fall into the "todays youth are desensitised" line but for some reason Im starting to see something that I had ignored before . . . Behind every news story are faces lives people just like me and you and that news story is not a news story but it is there life, If my blog ended up on CNN I might be a lil dissapointed which is ironic because Im putting it out there for all the world to see already hmmmmm I should ponder that.

I think that people think Im a nice person . . . but Im not not at all, I can be very bitter and very defensive. Im sorry.

theres so much I wish I could say so instead I guess Ill just say Im sorry again.

A friend of mine asked me my biggest mistake today . . . I think I lied.

"I dont think there is any difference between creep and human . . ."

its funny how things can change . . .
It feels really odd being home again I was talking to nic and I mentioned how it felt weird to sleep in my room again weird huh? Im yet to hear from someone whose room felt weird lol maybe its just that it feels so empty I feel somehow like my presence clutters it. But I wont have to worry about that for long . . . because on friday I GET TO SEE LILO and on sunday I GET TO SEE ELVIS sooo pretty much I get to see some of my favourite people :) life is very good.

Ive started going for physio and apparently its a good thing because if I had waited much longer I prolly would have had arthritis within a couple of years . . . who doesnt want arthritis tho right?

I bought a new mp3 player a couple weeks ago and I cant for the life of me make it work . . . Im calling the sony people tommorow they will know how to make it work. . . its there job, right?

Im hosting bible study tommorow I have to clean bake and go over what I have planned . . . Im kind of nervous because I want to bring in some stuff to get/keep people thinkign and talking but I dont like the idea of putting myself in a position where I can be critisized.

I'm thinking a lot lately about paths . . .

Driving away from the wreck of the day
And I'm thinking 'bout calling on Jesus
'Cuz love doesnt hurt so I know I'm not falling in love
I'm just falling to pieces
And if this is giving up then I'm giving up
If this is giving up then I'm giving up, giving up

On love, On love

Sometimes I get this tugging feeling like theres something I should be doing something I need to be doing (Or do in the future) I hate this feeling it just reminds me of how stubborn I am . . . I have the huge fear of the unknown of giving up that which is comfortable for that which may not be. Of leaving behind certain aspects of my life and giving up on parts of my life.

I go through these stages of doubting everything Ive done and am doing and wondering if its really what I'm supposed to do I just wonder . . . If I could go back what would I change? It amazes me how in one year I can look back and see everything so differently. People Places Things Decisions all of them seem changed, When really I know its just me.

I think I just want some direction . . . right now its just that tugging nagging invisible voice from outside of my head. . . the DSM prolly has something to say about that. But we wont see what that is (ughhhghghghhgghhg university has poisoned my brain against non academic thought)

My throat really hurts and its making it difficult for me to sleep.

Hey what you got you don't know
Anything that I'm gonna say right now
Cuz I'm not so sure why I'm here and why I wanna
Keep on hanging 'round right now
Not that I do it now or any day
Sometimes I just get burned out
About lots of things and well just doubt
Tell me something good~The rocket summer

When I get bored on summer vacation . . .

I seem to be at a loss for words still which is kinna funny because that does not usually happen! I cant believe I have not updated since Ive been home it seems kind of sad . . . Home is lame my cat ran away I miss him more then words can describe boo urns

Calgary makes me smile . . . I should not drink fruit juice in any situation where intense laughter may occur

Spending time with niki is fun I should make an effort to do it more often

I also bought a new Mp3 player it cost wayyy to much money but I love it and now I can figure out how to make it work DARN I need a computer savvy person
any volunteers?