www.lost.eu/928f

this seems kinna interesting

Thought Id toss in an update before bio . . .

Christmas party was AMAZING and I had sooo much fun with laura getting ready and with kaitlynn and just fun in general.

I am also the proud owner of lots of birthday cards and those make me :) (my birthday was Sunday for those of you who didnt know)

Im sitting here listening to bethany joy lenz and Im oddly content but not because I feel cramped like I want to go outside and just run and run and run until my lungs burn I did that at 1 am and it was GREAT. Maybe Im abnormal or maybe Im just frusterated either way it seems being alone at 1 30 AM in the cold is oddly attractive.


we'll do it all everything
on our own
we dont need anything
or anyone

Well its that time again! The malls are turning into fantasy lands kettles are out and lights are going up its christmas time again! This can only mean one thing in the world for moi . . . christmas cheer ? kind of . . .lots of yummmy food ? not yet . . . Well what is it ? Lots of stuff to buy and not enough money. Oh the life of a university student!

In other news 2 and a half days until Sunday when I will join the realm of adults in Newfoundland . . . So I can change over my phone billing plan :O and open a new bank account! How irritating is it that? Very, Oh man how I miss the land of mountains prarries and low majority ages.

Me and Laura spent 4 and a ahlf hours at the hospital yesterday I had to get some follow up Xrays done on my foot and Laura had to get her death cold checked out , She came away with an inhaler I came away witht he quote of "Well I dont see anything . . . But since it was undisplaced we wouldnt see anything anywy your going to have to wait until someone else looks at it" SO really they said nothing, Just like last time.

Were going to the square tonight to pick up more chirstmas lights for our room plus an extension cord and possibly a USB printer cord all of which Im excited for. Im also hoping to be done my christmas shopping by this weekend :) Only 3 more left!!!

I should go eat or shower or do something productive before my chem lab of death . . . Yes I am going to go do that, Well I will as soon as Devin comes back with my cell phone.


heavens not a place that you go when you die
its that moment in life when you actually feel alive
so live for the moment and take this advice
live by every word loves complety real
so forget anything that you have heard
and live for the moment now

1AM~
C~"Laura are you tired?"
L~"No not really but I can turn out the light if you are"
C~"Nope not at all . . . Wanna go for a walk?"
L~"Sure sounds good"

So we walked around campus and were stalked by a MUNpo (Campus enforcment) Car . . . It was delightfull. Then we came back here and watched you drive me crazy with Melissa Joan Hart and laughed at the slutty red crop/halter/swimsuit top which was really just a sports bra.

twas grreat

I have straight hair today! And I did it all by myself (I have never straightened my hair before)

Nap time Ill post some lyrics later

So I totally lied and did not go and get the xrays done . . . I just hate the idea of me going in them saying its fine and treating me like an idiot. And Im still irritated from the last time I went to get xrays. Today was great Me and Laura slept the afternoon away and then figured some stuff out like how to fit the milk in the fridge . . . Take the shelf out.

21 hour quiet hours start Sunday which only serves to scare me because of how close exams are, Wow I cant believe how fast this semester has gone by.

Tonight I straightened my hair . . . this makes me smile

So tonight and today pretty much rocked some stuff has happened that I think will make the rest of the semester and possibly the rest of the year alot better. Yay for answered prayers :) Also I am really excited for my birthday and I think that between that and christmas party the weekend will be just amazing. I can hope right ?

My foot is hurting ALOT tonight its also really swollen, It had been hurting all night so I put the supoort thing on it (kind of like a tensor bandage but just a thick tube and not a wrap) Well after I took the thing off it had swollen within minutes . . . This worries me so Im going to go in tommorow and get it re x-rayed. Ive been needing to do this I just figure I should stop procrastinating. Im also not going to be a wimp this time Im going to ask to talk to a doctor instead of lettign the Xray tech just tell me its fine.

Not much else to talk about for now so Ill post tommorow . . . Im still waiting on the last couple songs ;)

Soooo Im sitting here at my desk minding my own buisness when all of the sudden Wham Bam Alacazam I hear a thump and something comes flying and hits my head. Turns out my grad group pic fell off of its shelf and took a teddy bear shaped bar of soap with it. This is just peachy it seems furniture and stuff wants me dead.

I made a todo list of things I need to get done this week, It now hangs above my desk . . . I kind of want to get at least 2 things crossed off today and more tommorow the last chunk is things I need to get for christmas party (shoes) So I think Ill do that Friday.


Fil thinks Im lonely . . . .Therefore this is dedicated to her.


Maybe Im a girl
Maybe Im a lonely girl
Thats in the middle of something
That she dosnt really understand . . .

Anonymous~22
Fil~6

(I think the problem is that Fil just dosnt read my blog enough . . .)

Rawr that is all for now

But you can't say what you want or
Take what you want or
Choose the moods that you fake when you want
You said your life oculdnt get much better
Then where its at
And arnt you glad ?

(HINT!!!!!!!Think one tree hill)


So I was looking for about 15 minutes to find the right lyrics for this one and this won out I guess its just really working for what Im feeling right now because you know what? Im really happy right now (yah shocking right?)

Theres things about this place that I wouldnt change for the world and people that Im going to miss terribly even when Im just home for Christmas. Im not saying everythings perfect Im just saying that maybe like bailey says in the sisterhood of the travelling pants

"Being happy isnt having everything in your life being perfect maybe its about stringing together all the little things like wearing these pants or gettign to a new level of dragon slayer making those count for more then the bad stuff maybe we just get through it and thats all we can ask for"


Hahahahahahahaha now I feel like a loser but then again "maybe theres a little bit of loser in all of us!!"

Don't worry you will find the answer if you let it go
Give yourself some time to falter
But don't forgo know that you're loved no matter what
And everything will come around in time
I own my insecurities I try to own my destiny
That I can make or break it if I choose

Extra special triple points to whoeevr gets this one :P Im feeling generous . . .

Yah Yah sure do a case study on me just make sure I get to see it at some point Im pretty interested in what others think of me.

I registered for my winter courses today and am sooo psyched!!! I have all the courses I want/need in the time slots I wanted and with the profs I wanted can you say whootawhoota ? Cuz I sure can. Ive also realized that without bio and chem my time table looks empty . . . Possibly because on top of 3 hours of classes each week per course they also each had a 3 hour lab and chem had a 1 hour tutorial . . . Ughhhh cant wait for next semester when I will join the realm of the arts students.

I looked at the website today for the school of social work good news and bad news but more good then bad the bad was that each year they get approximatly 120 applicants of which 45 are accepted, Good news ? They look at stuff like volunteer work and job experiance other good news ? I could do my work term/internship or possibly even study for a semester at MUNs international campus in Harlow England, However seeing as I cant even apply to the school until next March and enter it until fall of my third year I really dont think I need to worry about any of this right now.

Im very excited for my birthday which is in 8 days (its next Sunday for those of you who like me are bad at math) And its spectacular because the house Christmas party is Saturday so Im sure itll be a fun weekend. Michelle gets brownie points also for the spectacular present whcih I know what it is but have not opened, She also gets points for the wrapping.

It seems I have one more english paper to complete then I expected . . . Meh english is fun!

I think Im playing soccer tommorow it will be interesting but probally not as interesting as the mens A game . . .

I really enjoy getting to know people in the house who I dont normally talk to (does this make sense?)

Im starting to seriously look at what I want to do for the summer . . .

Nav~Im sorry for accidentally deleting your comment, My internet cut out right when I went to publish it and everythign went haywire.


SASF is doing some downtown ministries stuff and Im very excited to get involved with that. Im also really excited that today was my last midterm and just overall a good day other then being slightly sick which I can deal with.


Im eating crackers it rocks . . .

My choice is what i choose to do
And if i'm causing no harm
It shouldn't bother you
Your choice is who you choose to be
And if your causin' no harm
Then you're alright with me

(lets ignore the subject matter of the song shall we darlings)

I hate tough decisions I really just dislike them. I sometimes have to much trouble managing out the pros and cons in my head and other times I just hate to admit that the decision should even be made. (does this make any sense?)

My foot is really hurting alot lately and that worries me, it seems to just be really stiff and painfull and overall not nice.

Nic leaves on wednesday :O

"Can you please just sit down your making me nervous"
"Yah ok and the fact that Im shaking dosnt make you nervous"
"Well no you cant control that you can control the constant walking around"

I feel really full right now just full of stuff. Like I just want to go for a run or something and just run until I cant run any further. And empty myself of all the bad stuff and make room for some good stuff.

Unfortunatly its 10 o clock and going for a late night run just dosnt seem that appealing, Im just not that comfortable with this city yet. Call me paranoid if you so please.

Darn field house for closing early. Meh theres always tommorow.

Im goign to go read or watch one tree hill.

No time permits to open up
When you've been hiding thoughts so strong
She's been holding out for an angel to come along
No reply from the sky
But she just keeps looking up
She just keeps looking up now


Im not in a state to update Im sorry
Im sorry for everything
So sorry

You know she wishes it was different
And she prays to god most every night
And though shes quite sure he dosnt listen
Theres a tiny hope theres a tiny hope in her he might
She says i pray but oh my prayers they fall on deaf ears
Am I suposed to take it on myself to get out of this place


And she feels like kicking out all the windows
And setting fire to this life
She would change everything about her
Using colors bold and bright




And yet another sleepness night

I'm looking at you through the glass...
Don't know how much time has passed
Oh god it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever
Feels like home sitting all alone inside your head


How do you feel? That is the question
But I forget.. you don't expect an easy answer
When something like a soul becomes
Initialized and folded up like paper dolls and little notes
You cant expect a bit of hope
And while your outside looking in
Describing what you see
Remember what your staring at is me


Cause I'm looking at you through the glass...
Don't know how much time has passed
All I know is that it feels like forever
When no one ever tells you that forever
Feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head


How much is real? So much to question
An epidemic of the mannequins
Contaminating everything
When thought came from the heart
It never did right from the start
Just listen to the noises(No more sad voices)
Before you tell yourself
Its just a different scene
Remember its just different from what you've seen


I'm looking at you through the glass...
Don't know how much time has passed
And all I know is that it feels like forever
When no one ever tells you that forever
Feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head


And it's the stars
The stars
That shine for you
And it's the stars
The stars
That lie to you.. yeah


I'm looking at you through the glass...
Don't know how much time has passed
Oh god it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever
Feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head


Cause I'm looking at you through the glass...
Don't know how much time has passed
All I know is that it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever
feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head


And it's the stars
The stars
That shine for you.. yeah
And it's the stars
The stars that lie to you.. yeah
And it's the stars
The stars
That shine for you.. yeah
And it's the stars
The stars
That lie to you.. yeah
Oh when the stars
Oh when the stars
They lie

Stone Sour~through glass

Im alowly adjusting to my hair and am starting to like it right now its curly and Im holding out alot of hope that it will stay that way. The academic dons throughout paton college organised a apton college spelling bee and I volunteered to be one of the two reps from rothermere . . . thats tonight I dont spell this should be hilarious!

Im really excited for my courses next semester Sociology, Psychology, Geogpraphy, English and Womens studies. It should be good.

I should go put on my shoes.

Oh anonymous poster who are you ? And do you google the lyrics ? Because googling is considered cheating.


I created my dream schedule for next term it is lovely nd if I dont get into any of the classes I will cry. Im quite intrigued by the fact that I seem to have aqquired friends and on top of that friends who are not from rez am I possibly worth talking to?

Tess called me tonight and it made my life.

Today I got my haircut it is short and thinned out ALOT I feel bald but for anyone who knows me and how thick my hair is it being thinned out is nothing. Everyone else seems to really like it but Im a little unsure maybe I just need to adjust to the 10 pounds removed from my head.

After I got my hair cut I had to get groceries and such and then rush back to campus and grab dinner from dining hall between 6.30 and 7 when my lab started so I rushed into dining hall all stressy and found it decorated for chirstmas and the salvation army band was playing christmas music it pretty much made me giddy. I really love christmas more so now then ever its just so familiar.

How do you feel ? That is the question
But I forget you dont expect an easy answer
When something like a soul becomes initialized
And folded up like paper dolls and little notes . . .



And its the stars that lie to you . . .

PS when this song gets guessed remind me to post the full lyrics its just that amazing

So Im getting my hair cut this afternoon . . . Its been looking kinna dead lately and I got money as a birthday present so Im using some on my hair and grocerys and the rest will be for school stuff (readd pencils pens paper books etc)

Im very happy and excited about the switch to social work I get the career I want with ZERO math or science courses however it means that bio and chem were electives which make me feel kind of liek an idiot. Cest La Vie.

I dont care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul

That would make me very happy however I might care if it hurt because well I dont do pain well, Unless as we have learned its a broken foot in which case I seem to be pretty darn good at just ignoring it until I can no longer walk without crying. Oh me.

I have a bio lab tonight and Im not happy about that especially now that I dont actually need bio or chem.

I should go do something productive like my pre lab.

Anyone wanna pray that my hair turns out ok ?

I really wish I knew who my anonymous poster is . . . it would be really cool especially they got the song right that I doubted anyone would know (sorry Nav) I hope this anonymous person realizes that if you click on other instead of anonymous you can put in a name.

It would be nice to know what I want to do with my life however the options are narrowed to Psychology,Education with English as my teachable and Social Work. Is it silly that all my prospects are the same area ? This is silly I know what I want to do I just dont know what degree to get and I dont want to switch over from psych until Im completly sure.

I love tuesdays they make me smile I think Im gonna get dressed go eat lunch and then head down to academic advising thsi will be the third time Ive been there however the second time was for a registration book so it doesnt count.

It snowed for the first time last night :) or :( however this means snowman building soon with Julie hmm I have not built a snowman in ever.

I dont wanna spend my life jaded
Waitin' to wake up one day and find
That I let all these years go by wasted
I dont wanna keep on wishin' missin'
The still of the morning the color of the night
I aint spending no more time wasted

Have alot of extra time before bio and dont feel liek cleaning so I thought Id write in here. The weekend was ok it was incredibly uneventfull and mostly boring. Saturday I just took care of some stuff here on campus (picking up the books I left over at Bowater and went to the library to work on Othello then I came back her and worked on othello some more and just slacked off that night. Sunday was softball so I was up at like 7.20 for that and it was disgusting but it was alot of fun once we all got to the field. I was alternate so I just got to sit there eat chips read my book and cheer it was a very good position lol. We had soem adventures though trying to find the ultramart and discovering chirs's "slutty eyeball" Oh My.

I dont know really what else to write about. I recieved a lovely letter from Lilo today and it made my day! I do love mail and I do love lilo so it worked out great!! And to Lilo because I know you read this *yours is in the mail today!*

Im gonna read for a bit because reading makes me smile!


But not before the return of everyones favourite game!!!!! guess that song . . .

If you could be anyone in this whole world who would you be?
would you be elvis shaking up memphis making all the young girls scream
would you make a speech that would change the world like martin luther king
would you go down in history like abe lincoln cuz you set a country free
if you could be anyone in this whole world
tell me who would you be ?

So Friday night SASF,Chi Alpha and MUNcf the 3 christian groups on campus had a joint service with a band for worship and 2 people doing testiomies and if course a speaker. Well all goes well through the band and the testmonies then like 10 minutes into the speaker I look at jillian and am like "Psst I NEED to get back I have 3 days to read Othello but I dunno how to leave without being impolite" And she tells me to just shuffle out the back door so Im like ok. Well about 5 minutes before I had to leave another girl left and of course the speaker notices asks if he offended her and then made a joke about her needing to study and how she will be his doctor in 10 years, SO at this point Im crying on the inside because I need to leave but I dont want to hurt this poor guys feelings and I dont want the whole room to be looking at me. Well I swallow my pride get up and go to leave of course the speaker notices looks at me makes a joke about driving us away and then a joke about me being his nurse in 10 years. Embarassing enough ? Yes, Is it over . . . of course not. So I make it to the back of the room and go to push open the door and at this point people are still paying attention to me, Problem ? Door dosnt open thoughts race through my head "You are an idiot" Well I try the door again . . . no luck. Bravely walk to other end of room push open door door opens FREEDOM close door let out massive sigh of relief and laugh at myself for a few minutes. Come into cell phone reception call Lilo get laughed at by Lilo . . . OH MY

It doesn't hurt me.
Do you want to feel how it feels?
Do you want to know that it doesn't hurt me?
Do you want to hear about the deal that I'm making?


I feel like Im very much a let down to myself . . . I have these great moments of realization and get things good and on trach but then its not long before something happens to turn those realizations into something of the past.

Destinys child is playing from one end of the hall nelly furtado from the other and placeb is playing in my brain . . . . this needs to be rectified.

Maybe i'm thinking
Myself in a hole
Wondering who i am
When i ought to know
Straighten up now
Time to go
Fool somebody else
Fool somebody else


Sorry no hero points for this one it would just not be fair . . .

Today for my chem lab I had my hair in a bun and my glasses on and my lab coat and goggles I felt very smart it was fun.

I dont really know what else to write about . . . Does anyone want to read othello for me ? And summarise it for me perfectly by Monday ? No takers . . . Ok never mind Ill do it myself.

The oc premiere is tonight can you say whootawhoota ?

I took a lovely nap today and it was amazing however Im sure I wont be able to sleep until 5 am . . . I can deal with that. Today I finished my english essay and the charity comitee PR pack for our major event I also found out that I dont have a chem test till the 15th YES (God Is Good)

Today Marlene invited the first years from out of town/province to her house for dinner and it was amazing sure sometimes dining hall is fun but nothing compares with conversation at a round table with less then 10 people in a real dining room. desert was this amazing blueberry cheesckake pie crumble thing and it made me very happy. I also talked to her about perhaps helping out with a bible study which I liked the sound of.

Aqua fit tonight was fun its nice to be able to work out and not have my foot getting mad at me . . . Well not much.

I think I have a hard time trusting people and giving them the benefit of the doubt this is a sucky trait to have because more often then not I get hurt because of it. I know Im uber sensitive and take things way to personally its something I wish I could change.

It is officially November that means 26 days till Im 19 and 25 days until our charity event and I think 46 until I go home for Christmas.

This is random I can deal with that.

And to quote Benjo "and now for something completly different" . . .

I keep playing your part
But it's not my scene
Want this plot to twist
I've had enough mystery
Keep building it up
Then shooting me down
But I'm already down

In a brutal effort to get comments Im copying Nav . . . Whoever names the song gets hero points! Comeon guys this is eeezypeezy and who doesnt love hero points ?