My room is a mess, Theres two suitcases that look like they exploded it makes me kind of sad to know that in a few days I'm gonna be packing again. Ive spent the last 2 months counting down the days to get out of this town and now here I am and I wanna stay, Funny thing is that I don't quite know why. Maybe its that when I'm here I know where I am and where I'm going and its all so safe or maybe its because when I'm here other people know who I am. Theres a sense of security that comes from having someone else there to tell you who you are when you forget. Its funny though because I know I couldn't handle being here for much longer and I know that the reasons that I want to stay here are the exact reasons why I need to leave.

I love getting there . . . but I hate going.

wow so anyone else think I suck at posting? Whatever I made the 10 day mark . . .

I went to Calgary this weekend it was SWEET . . . I got to see Nav.

I also made money which was really nice I like money, my friends aunt asked me today what I was gonna be after I got out of school. At first I said a social worker then I paused and said no I take that back . . . Ill be in debt.

I leave for camp in 9 days any one wanna come over and pack and clean for me ? I will bake you brownies for your effort AND you will get to see me which would be pretty sweet cuz well I'm amazing.


People are really dumb maybe I just set impossibly high standards but I get upset when guys get pouty and angry and act like petulant children for no good reason and FYI . . . Saying "Do you know who I am?" Doesn't make you sound special it makes you sound retarded.

I ordered tea this morning . . . I rarely order tea, but I did quite enjoy it.

my feet are cold . . . I wonder if this has anything to do with the water on our basement floor?
Its tradition come June it rains our basement floods and I relocate to the guest room. Somethings are meant for the out doors some are meant for indoors do you remember kindergarten and elementary school and your teachers saying "Inside voices" Well I'm a firm believer in inside water and outside water . . . outside water should not be in my basement.

I guess though my feet being cold is more then likely completely unrelated to the basement seeing as 1)I'm upstairs and 2)Compared to most years this is nothing theres only a thin layer of water along the south and west walls and it only extends out at most 10ish feet but mostly no more then 5. I realized how used to the flooding Ive become I remember the first year we flooded (grade 11) I was completely shocked when I came home to find my bed room floor floating (paneled floor the water goes underneath pushing the wood up) and the rest of our basement covered in water this year and last year I knew ahead of time that we would prolly flood so I ran around before hand putting everything up.

There was a documentary on last night called "The Bridge" a crew set up cameras and filmed the suicides and attempted suicides on the golden gate bridge. They then tracked down and interviewed friends,families,survivors and witnesses. It was one of those thinker films that I don't see myself liking but I always end loving.

Sometimes I think I forget to breathe . . .