Sometimes I get this tugging feeling like theres something I should be doing something I need to be doing (Or do in the future) I hate this feeling it just reminds me of how stubborn I am . . . I have the huge fear of the unknown of giving up that which is comfortable for that which may not be. Of leaving behind certain aspects of my life and giving up on parts of my life.

I go through these stages of doubting everything Ive done and am doing and wondering if its really what I'm supposed to do I just wonder . . . If I could go back what would I change? It amazes me how in one year I can look back and see everything so differently. People Places Things Decisions all of them seem changed, When really I know its just me.

I think I just want some direction . . . right now its just that tugging nagging invisible voice from outside of my head. . . the DSM prolly has something to say about that. But we wont see what that is (ughhhghghghhgghhg university has poisoned my brain against non academic thought)

My throat really hurts and its making it difficult for me to sleep.

Hey what you got you don't know
Anything that I'm gonna say right now
Cuz I'm not so sure why I'm here and why I wanna
Keep on hanging 'round right now
Not that I do it now or any day
Sometimes I just get burned out
About lots of things and well just doubt
Tell me something good~The rocket summer

When I get bored on summer vacation . . .

I seem to be at a loss for words still which is kinna funny because that does not usually happen! I cant believe I have not updated since Ive been home it seems kind of sad . . . Home is lame my cat ran away I miss him more then words can describe boo urns

Calgary makes me smile . . . I should not drink fruit juice in any situation where intense laughter may occur

Spending time with niki is fun I should make an effort to do it more often

I also bought a new Mp3 player it cost wayyy to much money but I love it and now I can figure out how to make it work DARN I need a computer savvy person
any volunteers?