Sooo its past 3 and I cant sleep . . . suprise suprise



I would really like to sleep Im boreddd . . . I just cant its like theres some switch in my brain and its on when really it should be off . . . My brain is robotic like that Im sure Ill start hhearing buzzing sounds soon. So instead of actually sleeping or trying to sleep Im sittign here listening to radiohead and typing out random drab thoughts that will probally put anyone reading this to sleep.



I dont quite understand our world . . . I see stuff and it makes me want to cry . . . I read stuff and it makes me want to drop out of school and go and save the world. I get this odd little tugging sensation in the back of my mind that Imd oign somethign wrong but the only wrong in what Im doing is that Im doing nothing . . . Im sitting Im reading it Im seeing it but Im not stopping it Im not helping it Im not changing it Im some clueless observer in a sea of faces that is made up of other clueless observers.

Ive also decided that I dislike CNN and the news in general I was neevr one to fall into the "todays youth are desensitised" line but for some reason Im starting to see something that I had ignored before . . . Behind every news story are faces lives people just like me and you and that news story is not a news story but it is there life, If my blog ended up on CNN I might be a lil dissapointed which is ironic because Im putting it out there for all the world to see already hmmmmm I should ponder that.

I think that people think Im a nice person . . . but Im not not at all, I can be very bitter and very defensive. Im sorry.

theres so much I wish I could say so instead I guess Ill just say Im sorry again.

A friend of mine asked me my biggest mistake today . . . I think I lied.

"I dont think there is any difference between creep and human . . ."

its funny how things can change . . .
It feels really odd being home again I was talking to nic and I mentioned how it felt weird to sleep in my room again weird huh? Im yet to hear from someone whose room felt weird lol maybe its just that it feels so empty I feel somehow like my presence clutters it. But I wont have to worry about that for long . . . because on friday I GET TO SEE LILO and on sunday I GET TO SEE ELVIS sooo pretty much I get to see some of my favourite people :) life is very good.

Ive started going for physio and apparently its a good thing because if I had waited much longer I prolly would have had arthritis within a couple of years . . . who doesnt want arthritis tho right?

I bought a new mp3 player a couple weeks ago and I cant for the life of me make it work . . . Im calling the sony people tommorow they will know how to make it work. . . its there job, right?

Im hosting bible study tommorow I have to clean bake and go over what I have planned . . . Im kind of nervous because I want to bring in some stuff to get/keep people thinkign and talking but I dont like the idea of putting myself in a position where I can be critisized.

I'm thinking a lot lately about paths . . .

Driving away from the wreck of the day
And I'm thinking 'bout calling on Jesus
'Cuz love doesnt hurt so I know I'm not falling in love
I'm just falling to pieces
And if this is giving up then I'm giving up
If this is giving up then I'm giving up, giving up

On love, On love